fluffycutething

I Wonder if it's still ok to say "happy new year?"

2012-01-24T12:04:00.002+01:00

Happy new year anyway *rolls eyes*

It's only been 24 days and aaaaaalllllll sooooorrrrttts have already happened to me.

I better start it off light.

So the other day, Ayobami opened my drawers (chest of drawers if you may). He pulled out my pink g-strings. As colour was spreading all over my face, he said "Mummy what's this?"

For a few seconds i pondered what to answer, seeing i was tongue tied, he offered an answer "oh its for covering your breast?" i didnt know what else to say so i said yes...

Then he says 'ok lemme wear it then' and he proceeded to place it on his head in an attempt to wear it.

I couldnt take it anymore i grabbed my thing and rushed out of the room

I really need to get my own accomodation in that house.....

On a totally unrelated level, men will always be men sha...

Yesterday i went to buy jollof rice at some place- buka type setting.

Some pretty chick was standing nearby with her friend. Some man was eating at a nearby table...

He says to the pretty gal, oh you look nice or something of the sort. Didnt hear too well i was busy remembering my single days when i used to get all those kinda comments *sighs*

Anyway her friend who wasnt being talked to answered something and the pretty girl too sha answered...

Then she's leaving and says "oh bye we are late for work" (or something of the sort)

Then her friend who once again wasnt being talked to edges her to go back, then she struts back and says "or do you have a card?"

Gosh "okurin sha" (translates men!!!)

The man kuku got up, left his meal unattended and strolls to his motor to give her a card.

I wonder how the transaction has since progressed.....

Hmmmm

My girl -Suliat

2011-11-22T16:08:00.001+01:00

So i recently(few months back to be specific) hired a house manager :D aka help.

She's been quite helpful. My issues with her are minimal which is rare in these parts. She's 22 and saving to "do her freedom" in photography.

Like i said she seems quite ok when i consider the other extremes, however the other day this happened.....

I'll be relaying it in pidgin and Queen's English.

I asked her to clean fish make we cook stew, after a few mins by which time i felt fish should have been cleaned and salted i strolled into the kitchen and alas there was my titus fish being BOILED!!!

Boiled people BOILED!!!!

Fish wen i wan put inside stew oh....

She says my mummy taught her to do that!

I just dey look d gal with shock, I asked her if she's even seen me do such? She say she think say we wan fry d fish...
I say even then has she seen me boil then fry?
These girls dey foolish wen dem wan foolish sha!Ah ah

Another day while i was at work she decided to help my son with homework... i no send am oh, but she tries to be proactive.

My cousin said she heard her repeatedly say "curve and dash". On peeping now she saw them writing no 7 so she says Sulia, wetin be "curve and dash" and the silly gal says oh that's what mummy says when doing Ayobami's homework....

Obviously the bugger had heard me while i was helping Ayobami write no 2 and assumed 'curve and dash' is applicable to all nos.... ****eyes roll***

Hazards of living in a face me i face you!!!

2011-11-17T12:30:00.001+01:00

So i live in a face me i face you :D

Maybe i should even start a series on all my co-tenants!!!!

We've got 5 tenants in all....

Some co-tenant of mine whom i have a relationship with i.e we greet when passing each other in the yard ;)

She calls me aunty and considering she's married and probably 25ish i feel embarassed as in her calling me aunty probably means she thinks i'm veeeerrrrrryyyy old or something.

Anyway she sometimes brings her food over for storage in my freezer during long power outtages. She's got a small gen that obviously cant power her generator....

So that's about how much we relate- barely!!!

She's got a niece who's about Ayobami's age, so when the girl comes around they play together. I usually dont mind. Anyway i recently realised that my neigbour and her sister(the mother of the little girl) obviously have no respect for boundaries or just choose to behave badly.

I find that the occasional visits from the little girl usually stretches into hours and hours. I feel it isnt proper to fob your child on people you barely know. To further buttress my point this was what happened a few weeks back

My neighbour comes and says " oh Aunty i need to quickly dash off to XYZ please can "little girl" stay here till her mum arrives at 10 or was it 11 am(cant remember well now) . This was probably around 9am ish. anyway i say no problem...

1pm and the girl mama never show. so i'm like wetin be this one now? meanwhile i don dey tire to do babysitter. I didnt even have the aunty or the mother's telephone no sef...

sha at about 2pm ish i send the kids down to ride bicycles and generally just get a breather, then i see little girl's mother about to go out!!! And then she says" ah i knocked on your door and no one answered" i want to go and make my hair. SHE MAKES NO MOVE WHATSOEVER TO TAKE HER CHILD ALONG.

i no talk.....

At about 7pm i was still saddled with this girl, aunty i no see, mama i no see. By this time i was furious and my voice don change... d gal sef don see as i change she begin cry. So i felt bad and calmed down a bit. I started getting the boys ready for bed and just left the girl in the living room, then her mum came and she refused to follow her or something like that and the mama turn back....

Ah ah see me see something. Of course i charged and asked my maid to take her home only for that one too to come back and say nobody dey there...

I went straight to another neighbour to ask if she had their no just as i was still getting that information, the mother returned and i told her, the little girl was crying and i didnt know what to do....

You'd think they wouldnt show up at my door again abi?

One fine evening the boys were playing downstairs and little girl and her mother were passing by, next thing she leaves the girl and wakas off. By 7pm when i asked the boys to come in, her mama still never return. I ask my maid to stay downstairs with her. Like half an hour after i start thinking mosquitoes will be biting the poor child lemme ask them to come in....

Rain starts threatening to fall and her mother appears.... the girl once again refuses to follow her mother and the woman strolls off. This is past 8pm oh!!!!

I no just talk na look i dey look them. Thankfully she starts to cry again so i march straight down to call her mother oh, luckily she was there!!!

The next time we ran into the little girl, i sent her right back before she will have to spend the night in my house mccchhhheeeewwww

My hubby was there and he felt i shouldnt have sent her back. I did it tactfully mind you. This kain "oh little girl we are going home now, see you later"

He is of the opinion that it was the girl's refusal to go home that caused her mum to leave her with us endlessly. I am of the opinion that you should draw limits and boundaries for children especially when they're so little.

Moreso i barely know these people!!! I dont know their surnames sef so its not like we are friends in the first place.

what say ye?

N.B- Didnt realise the story would turn out this lenghthy!!!

Hair net- To wear or not to wear!!!

2011-10-28T11:17:00.001+01:00

I hope i get some male perspectives on this discourse!!!

I grew up watching/seeing my mum wear hair nets.

I thought/assumed/believed it was normal. I was happy when i started wearing hair nets too.

Now i'm married with children and they too have started to watch/see/know me as a hair net wearer.

The challenge is this, i was once gisting with some friends and one mentioned a husband reporting his wife to her that his wife was a hair net wearer. And his main grouse was that the hair net constantly smelt of "dodo" i.e fried plantain. In her defense i said well better her net smelling of dodo than her brazillian weave on that cost an arm and a leg.

Some of my female friends have expressed concern about my hair nets.***eyes roll***

I am comfortable wearing them but i dont want to be a pain to my hubby you see.... truth is i find that many husbands dont always mention the things they dont like e.g wearing hair nets or tying wrappers around the house...

So hair nets....

... to be worn by wives or not?

Random talk talk again!!!

2011-10-12T15:49:00.006+01:00

I have tried to put up posts at least twice but at the point of publishing the thing go just disappear!!

So much to say i no even know where to start!!!

My dear son has finally started proper nursery and its been amazing how he's suddenly so matured and a bit better behaved. he also blows some fone now and the other day was spreeing and oppressing his cousin and my inlaws only for him to say with plenty fone and in a loud voice "i didn't SAID it" oh well there went our super star moment :D

Tlash is cool too, quite grown up now and we have been attempting to toilet train but he screams so much at the sight of his potty..... maybe i should bust it till he can express himself? **rolls eyes**

The cost of diapers leaves me no choice anyway!!!

It’s bad to be broke oh… I'm really broke now so tey when my dear hubby promised to dash me money, I went and gave him an exceptional ;) (IMO) performance just so the money will be increased and since morning I have been doing oh darling, oh honey!!!

Women are so freaking materialistic LOL

Today i went to the bank and the security man said to me " welcome to Diamond bank" i was very uncomfortable by that i wasnt sure if it was geninue politeness or a ploy to make me tip him when i was leaving.... just shows how used i am to not receiving courteous service in this country. when security men start saluting and helping with bags and doors or even smiling i feel somewhat obligated to tip them..... i remember a few have even gone to the extent of saying stuff like " enjoy your meal", have a wonderful day etc etc i just keep cringing and praying i'd have change left to dash them....

Na wa

My hubby and I sleep in separate rooms. I find it odd in this day and age. Though sometimes im grateful for the "privacy". I sleep with my boys. It started with him saying my stuff were scattered and too much and he didnt want them in "HIS" room. Of course i took offence and started sleeping elsewhere. Then when the boys came he felt i should sleep with them since they're toddlers and need to be given milo and carried to weewee during the night!!!

Suddenly i have realised its killing our intimacy and i'm a bit tired of him coming to tap me, and in the words of my boss say "follow me to the room" . I mean i am not an "iya risikat" abeg.

The challenge now is this i really want him to apologise for what he said initially and ask me to move back in. i hinted him the other day saying i couldnt continue sharing a room with little boys ad he said " well you can dress elsewhere and not in front of them " ***rolls eyes****

enough for one day, make i dey go house! Work continues for some of us ;)

Random "talk talk"

2011-09-13T11:41:00.003+01:00

One more thing I'd seriously like to know is why when you call some offices or walk up to a receptionist/security man and say I'd like to see Mr/mrs/madam/alhaji(etc) so and so he/she asks for your name and then says "from where"?

Sometimes i say from America!!!

Because i really just dont get it..... LOL

My fellow Nigerians in the diaspora is this phenmenom common "in abroad" too? ;)

I woke up early today to catch up on some ironing.... smallie woke up and i went to make him milo,of course before i returned the bugger of an Ayobami had thrown the hot iron on the carpet. Thank God there was no bodily harm to him or his brother.... he starts REAL(as in with uniforms and all) nursery next Monday!!! i can't wait to unleash him on his teachers :D

It's amazing the kind of levies parents are 'forced' to pay to educate children in this Lagos. all sorts of dues- development, christmas party, Yoruba classes, swimming all sorts my people. I was fortunate to find a moderate priced school with few students. They'll be just about 5students in the class. I just hope i made an informed decision!!!

May i also warn potential parents make sure you have your children before September oh!!!!! Most schools admit only children of age 3 (birthday has to be in September) into nursery 1 when the session starts in October.... the child will usually be placed in reception/pre-nursery/kindergaten class....

We were lucky though we got placed in nursery 1 because my son is exceptionally bright like his mummy :D ;)

Thank God i titled this post "random talk talk" (pidgin English)

Is it bad....

2011-09-02T15:44:00.002+01:00

.... for me to still be smiling /winking plus day dreaming at fine boys/men in traffic?????????One caught me today and raised his hands as in "madam na wa oh " LMAO

The fellow was fine sha even though he's a light skinned man and theyre not my spec. It didnt help that he was being driven in an LR3 **winks**

Oh well....

This manager work no easy!!!

2011-08-29T12:37:00.003+01:00

While i am grateful for my current job especially as it is somewhat better than staying home all day... the many things my eyes have seen i just must pencil down.

There is certainly a WIDE gap between a one man business and a multi national.

Our Operations manager is Ijebu by tribe and worked as a teacher before now. he has some really amusing theories about how things should run.....

For example : the toner for the printer must completely run out before another can be purchased. i find that absurd and certainly not the way to go. He accused me the other day of not being responsible for the maintenance of the pool car.... hello... i am not in admin and barely use the car anyway. I use my own car for marketing purposes. as if that is not bad enough i have to sign papers up and down the place before i get a refund on my fuel money....

The height for me is the lastest development. i have worked for seven months thereabouts and no one assigned me a laptop/computer. I used mine until it crashed.... several memos and lamentations later, my dear boss approves ONE for the marketing unit in addition to the laptop we currently have....

One as in ONE for we the three unit members. he claims it is a work station technically this means the three of us have to take turns to use it. we have two chairs on this table. so one person stands while the other two sit!!!!

And they say i am a management staff....

I shudder to imagine what the other normal staff must be experiencing.... mcsheeewwwwww

Too much Information and other stories :D

2011-07-06T12:18:00.004+01:00

Long time no see....

My lappie crashed and i havent been able to replace it. One would have thought owning a BB would solve that challenge but truth is some of us are still technologically challenged ;)

So much has happened i tell you, i mean even Tlash is gonna be One tomorrow.... i wonder if he even is aware of that fact sef :D Never mind me and Ayobami know and are gonna rock on his behalf ;0

One of the many things that have happened to me are three embarassing incidents i just must share!!! My job as a MANAGER(you know now lol) requires me to go hopping from one office to the other. So i have met all sorts of receptionists from the haughty(i assume these ones think they are management staff) to the very nice and friendly as well as the next two i'd be discussing in the next paragraph!!!

While waiting to see someone in HR i got friendly with receptionist 1. I told her my need and tried to get some info off her. Next thing she starts to tell me how she attends Fountain of Life and can dream dreams... From there she says she dreamt that her sister was travelling and true true the sister went to abroad.... then one man that is thier customer and he's close to her. The man is close to Mike Adenuga( or his daddy sef) and she had once dreamt or seen a vision of herself working in Glo…. She wanted to know whether to ask the man to tell Mike Adenuga to employ her or some errant nonsense like that. Wetin concern me concern all that one?

The next one too started off friendly. By my next visit to the office she wanted to know what hospitals were good for gynaelogical issues and stuff(I work in health insurance). Next thing she starts to tell me shes had a previous miscarriage and while I am still squirming from discomfort she goes on to say in her current pregnancy too she started spotting and she went to a midwife/modern herbal doctor not juju woman according to her oh lol. She said the woman assured her nothing will happen to the belle. At this point I quickly told her of a good clinic and scampered off….. which kain thing be that????????????

The last episode was just the worst mbok

I was trying to buy some toys for ,my boys and the 2nd time I went to the shop to pick the items.i met the owner in a bid to be friendly I asked her if the baby I had met on the 1st visit was hers. So she laughed and said that’ll probably be her grandchild. Then she brought out family pics of them in Dubai showing her husband and daughter. And said she was celebrating 25years wedding anniversary or so… her friend who was there then said “ah you and Emeka have been together for so long” (or something like that). Then she says out loud in the presence of even her sales girls “ Emeka disvirgined me you know” . at that point I paid and ran out of the shop….

I mean am I wearing a sign that says ‘you can tell me EVERYTHING?

Hey.....

2011-07-05T11:30:00.001+01:00

.... Missed you plenty plenty!!!

Will be back soon...

TLash turns one on Thursday we are busy planning :)

May Post!!!

2011-05-11T13:11:00.009+01:00

Ok so here's the post for May :D

it is important that i at least meet up my one month one post!!!!!

I had actually tried to post several times in april but chasing two small boys and their father aint easy i must admit....

So here's a shout to my dear co-blogger "DOLL" congrats on your engagement( i'd have put this on your blog but i didn't want my greeting to get lost in the plenty comments ;) Wish you the very best babes.... Feel free to ask for tips and advice anytime too!!!

Here's the post now....

I was wondering the other day and i infact i'm still wondering why in this part of the world we call soft drinks "minerals" or actually "minerasssss"

answers anyone?

These are my random pics from my random wakas around Lagos....

This is apparently the new face of RRS in Lagos.... frankly i think they look like ants

My Darling MIL bought me this pot , it has my name on it :D

Saw this one in a Nigerian movie and i couldnt just help leaving my mouth agape.... read and re-read the last line!!!

Yep the VICTIM of this act will pay N500 LOL

Cocktail of gists....

2011-04-04T10:30:00.002+01:00

This my one month one post system sef na wa ….
Today’s post is a cocktail of all sorts of gist….
Another habit Nigerians have which amuses me (not annoy this time) is when you say hello to people and they respond “fine”. LOL My assumption for this behavourial pattern is because the people probably expect to be asked “how’re you” and have already programmed their brains to respond accordingly…

Anyway whatever…

I’m still liking this Ibiluv’s blogging style. I’ll just keep copying ;) the worst she can call me is “copy catter” LOL

Memories anyone?

Had a tooth extraction few days back…. Still in pain and I’ve got a swollen face to show for my agonies… people seem to be staring at me a lot more now…. I imagine, they imagine I got beat up by my spouse…
For some days and even weeks now I’ve been trying to fathom what informs street traders on their choice of wares…. Even more strange to me is how these items are usually sold for a “season” and it seems by ALL street traders. Some items make sense(sort of) some I really rack my brain and wonder if they get any patronage at all. The seemingly sensible goods sold in traffic include:
The various variants of gala(packaged sausage rolls) i.e gala, beefie, meaty,rovers etc

Tissue for the car
Plantain chips
Fan ice/ Yoghurt
Torchlight
Chewing gum/sweets
Cuff links/silk knots
Fruit salad/pop corn
Audio CDS/DVDS
Men’s ties
Designer sunglasses
The odd/amusing ones include :

Camphor
Books
Rat glue/poison
Weighing scales
Machetes
Coffee tables
Dustbins
Cereals
Cutlery /knife sets

Plastic files/Folders
Swimming gear for kids
ID card tags/card holders
Jalabiyas
Male underwear/shorts

I wonder what they’ll have in the coming days/weeks….

I went to one chassis office today. I was quite awed… you see I worked in a multi national for many years and after my ‘job loss” in 2009 I had to somewhat stoop to take this manager work in a less than multinational company…. Better than sitting at home doing nothing I guess but I miss the days of “AC in the loo, properly set up work stations, fone speaking colleagues” etc etc
***sighs**** God dey!!!!!
The boys are fine. T-lash has 4 teeth now and my walls are gradually being filled with graffiti thanks to Ayobami. He can now “write” you see and always feels a need to prove this ON MY WALLS lol…. We also read/count numbers of license plates on all cars we see …..
What a brilliant boy I mean how many of you can identify nos 1-9!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO
I have been typing this post for a few days and now that I’m ready to post it I can’t think of a suitable ending….

New Post

2011-03-02T15:14:00.003+01:00

I just dislike it when people say "I am strong" to communicate that they feel unwell. It really irks me....

I meant to wax my eyebrows today oh.... maybe tomorrow sha. Cant wait for the hot wax to be spread across my forehead lol i don dey kolo oh

i wanted to blog since and since but my friend's son was kidnapped it didnt seem appropriate to blog during such a period. Was too sad to function properly that time sef...

We thank God he was returned home safely last saturday....

I'm copying my friend Ibiliv's style of writing today ;) oh

I miss LG too wonder where she is sef, last i remember she was in Abj. Abi?

Person don dey old oh small small i don dey near 40.... i'll be 31 in a few months time.

If only i could just get my thoughts together and blog "properly"

My Commander and Controller are fine...

i was at my doctor's last week imagine my shock when he brought out his biro. Not only was it bic.... half had broken so the plastic that holds the ink was bare. Havent seen such a sight since secondary school... infact primary school.

Then his phone rang and believe it or not his ring tone is the Barbie theme song. You know the "i'm a barbie girl. in a barbie world" etc etc

Well maybe he doesnt know it's barbie theme song

Havent been able to take any random pics my Iphone was stolen

Been quite sad since

Especially when i think of the cost of replacement.

Ok what else is there to say...

I miss having sex

quite odd for a married woman i must admit

But you see that's how life is.... you cant explain many things!!!!

i better go now.

Maybe i'll be able to put up a more co-ordinated post in the near future

Journey to becoming a Lagos big gal.....

2011-02-01T16:00:00.003+01:00

So further on my journey to reach my aspiration of becoming a Lagos big gal....

Today i went to wax my eyebrows....

No big deal abi?

Considering that even to apply lip gloss sef i no dey remember, that for me is one step ahead on this my "i must be hot in 2011" matters lol

Funny it wasn't as painful as i anticipated maybe i should go further and get a Brazilian? hmmmm

On Sunday i went to fix my weave.... not the Brazilian/lace front weave oh(still can't work out how to nip from No 2's cerelac allowance without getting busted lmao) so sha i spent hours there...

As in typical sunday salon moves, crowd there, only one good stylist and everyone wants HIM ALONE to fix thier hair etc etc so it took me hours to get done...

I didnt want Daddy going on about me turning him to a nanny and couldnt possibly take the boys to the salon so i arranged for my brother's girlfriend to baby sit...

I'm driving home and Daddy calls " Where are you?" "you left your children since morning to go and make your hair" "You are just going to work and not to do fashion(abi how the man talk am sef?)" "henceforth i COMMAND you never to leave the children and go to the salon again.... i'm not asking or telling you i am COMMANDING you"

na wa i get controller for office and Commander for house....

Na wa lol God help me which kain problem be this>????

Anyway i'm not to quarrel about the matter (for now) one day i will ask him whether i look like one of his staff that he is commanding me.... Men and their ways sef....

Random paparazzo 2

2011-01-24T11:27:00.007+01:00

Maybe we can make this paparazzo business a regular feature on this blog... :D
I find some terms in my new place of work strange…. My boss is called a CONTROLLER Well since I am MANAGER surely that is the only way to show the world that he is my boss

Enjoy these random paparazzoooosssss my fellow bloggers

That's my neighbour at his gate....

Yep he will never RELEGATE!!!
That's No 2 browsing :D

Yes oh MOTORS are not allowed after 11pm and "latecomers" will be persecuted!!

Have a good week people

So i was tagged.....

2011-01-19T08:51:00.005+01:00

and so here goes....

Thanks P.E.T for the award i feel honoured!!!!:D

7 things about myself...

1. I am still in love with my ex boyfriend.... ***sighs****
2. I really,really,really hate to see used match sticks on the floor
3. I am an aspiring Lagos big girl lol
4. I somewhat have OCD... i can arrange my wardrobe over and over(even when it's not scattered)!!!!! same thing with washing my hands :D
5. I can eat rice morning, afternoon and night, seven days a week. Happily at that....

6. My boys are my pride and my joy (obviously lol)

7. I'll have to come back to this!!!!

Award 15 other bloggers. Hmmmmmm i present this award to the 1st 15 commenters that stop by except they've already been tagged

Cheers people!!!!

So fluffy got a job…

2011-01-18T12:21:00.000+01:00

I was quite happy to start work after sitting at home for a whole year just being a mum…
I miss my boys all day though 
Being a housewife really isn’t easy…
The high point of most days is in the evening when you start thinking of what to make for daddy’s dinner and then the process of making Daddy’s dinner.
One day I will compile my housewife tales lol and blog about them
So Lagos has somewhat changed!!!
Not like I was in purdah the past year but somehow I didn’t really get to waka much… with two small kids!!! Staying at home most times seemed the better option.
My former work environment had a casual dress style, so it really really made me complacent about my looks generally.
I’d have clothes in my wardrobe but I’ll just keep wearing jeans and one plain top or the other…
This time round (from what I see here) the style is formal/semi-formal. I mean to really step my game up oh… They made me manager… even though the salary aint exactly “managerial” lol ….
So I got myself a new haircut and colored the hair sef… being a mama doesn’t mean I have to slack biko… stepping my game up. Yesterday I wore a suit (for the 1st time in almost 5years),all my friends kept saying “what? You’re in a suit? Take a picture plsssss… felt like the thing would choke me at a point lol today I’m wearing the famous “abortion belt” to complete my ensemble and even though I feel like Santa Claus and cant really breathe I’m sucking it in and giving myself the Lagos big girl look lol
Next on the list is this Brazilian weave on… that’s the name ain’t it? I mean those lace front wigs that make Lagos chics look so hawt hawt hawt….
By the time I starve No 2 of his cerelac for 2 months I should be able to afford the thing abi? ;)
God help me in this 2011 abeg…. Na wa
Happy new year everyone(better late than never biko :D)

Annoying habits of my other half!!!!

2010-12-25T16:06:00.002+01:00

So I stumbled on this meme on nairaland but the comment box wasn’t adequate for me to detail my dear spouse’s own so here I am settling down to “offload” this dilemma of mine….
I must start from the beginning
My mother in law is a sweet little woman…. She’s actually small physically so little is apt in describing her.Most times I feel know I got a good deal as per getting her for a(an) MIL!!!She’s peaceful and quite generous but …

She fidgets… kai the woman can’t just keep still!!! She must always just find one activity or the other for herself. It usually doesn’t bother me except when I have to wake up at 6am because she wants to bath the kids…or she packs hubby’s cloths that she wants to wash them. The day after no 2’s naming ceremony you can imagine my shock when I strolled into the kitchen and there she was FRYING MOIN MOIN supposedly to preserve it. IMO because she had nothing else to do….

So now to today’s story :D
She has passed this fidgeting habit to my dear spouse….
At first it wasn’t so obvious but over time I can see that my dear spouse has a hard time keeping still.It wouldn’t matter so much if the fidgeting doesn’t make him turn my world upside down in the bid of helping (IMO joblessness) but more and more im tempted to flog my husband for this silly habit…
He can just head to the children’s drawers and say he’s arranging and just distort my already colour, size and occasion sequenced arrangement of the said clothes, bear in mind that I mostly dress up the kids…. So my own order of arrangement should be in place abi?
On some other occasion my dear spouse peeled nearly N500 worth of irish potatoes and sliced them and kept in the freezer(I no send am work oh and we were not eating chips for breakfast/lunch/dinner oh) then kept ranting about “that’s how things should be done etc” the next day when the potatoes started to go black he had nothing to say again….
Today now he has emptied my freezer and is going on about how I didn’t arrange the things properly and how my space management is not good etc etc I have gone to look now meat he has left on the counter top, bread he has abandoned on the counter top and he has the nerve to tell me to stop leaving remnants in the freezer… where do I then keep them biko?
The supposed reorganization of the freezer has the whole place looking quite jam packed so I wonder what he was/is going on about!!!
I have told him he will have to decide who Is going to do kitchen management at this rate, whether na me or na him….
Because I don tire~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random paparazzi

2010-12-16T18:12:00.003+01:00

So to keep up with my "hobby" of photography i took these "odd" pics on my random waka around Lagos....

The first one really baffled me it was table decor at what i presume was an african themed wedding...

I surely wouldn't have sat on that table....

The second picture one was just hilarious, i mean seriously????...

See for yourself

i really wonder....

2010-10-21T17:31:00.002+01:00

i heard the other day that a former colleague of mine is separated from her husband....

I was shocked. While the whole thing may not have been perfect they did look like they were getting on fine(from the outside)

The husband lost his job and naturally this put a strain on them emotionally and perhaps otherwise...

Now while i dont have all the details or first hand info i heard the marriage crashed for the following reason( and possibly some others too)!!!

Wife is a british citizen and husband asked/requested/pleaded(whatever he sha did) asked her to file for him so he could share this benefit too. Maybe it was the way he asked i dont know but babe sha insinuated that , it may have been for this reason he married her!!!!

Like i said i dont have first hand info, but surely there's no smoke without fire. the story may be true.....

My concern is this, assuming the story is true:

Was husband wrong to ask his wife to file for him?
Is he thus a gold digger?
should the matter have degenerated this much?
Is wife right on her assumptions?
In an ideal situation should the wife have filed for him as her dearly wedded husband?

Truly i wonder.........

I will not smack Ayobami...

2010-10-14T11:59:00.002+01:00

....this week!!!!

lol

I was recently reviewing my disciplinary measures and felt that perhaps i was using the rod(my hands) too much on the individual.

So i decided to try an "i will not smack Ayobami" week. It's now Day four and i've been mostly successful even this morning when he tried to pluck out his brother's eye with an umbrella i only asked him to face the wall!!!!

I've hit his hand/butt only twice all week!!!!

I must admit he seems better behaved and hasnt been beating people like he normally would have, it makes me wonder or rather question our Nigerian upbringing(i assume the average nigerian has experience smacking/flogging/beating by parents and adults generally) is it a good idea?

perhaps because he gets smacked ever so often is the reason he seems to constantly be hitting people both his peers and adults alike!!! I understand that toddlers generally have "hitting/fighting" tendencies but could i have unknowingly endorsed it to my little boy?

How else can they be disciplined though? the naughty corner and face the wall punishments are working well for now sha

I dont intend to completely stop smacking the young man though but maybe now it'll be few and far between....

Mummy drama

2010-10-01T23:10:00.001+01:00

Ayobami just went for his first sleep over. i miss him already. Crap!!! they just left 10 minutes ago...

Maybe i should just go and bring him back!!!!

You'd think i'd be happy for the peace and quiet...

Will probably lay here all night wondering if his blanket was placed over him properly...

Quick one abeg!!!

2010-08-06T22:51:00.002+01:00

My husband is right now watching "girls of the playboy mansion" should i be worried?

This n that Part2!!!!

2010-05-28T21:04:00.002+01:00

The ways of men are indeed puzzling....

By men i mean okurin, male specie/gender etc

I recently visited a former male colleague of mine because his wife just had a baby and i need his help to fix my lappie...

we became friends because he used to ride in my car from work etc

One day he told me he loved me. i almost laughed but i managed to control myself and remind him that i was married and so was he!!!!

Anyway he said he loved me before he married etc but was never able to approach me. i sha explained that there was no way we were ever gonna be able to do nothing about his feelings so he should nip them (summary)

So i sha went to his residence for the reasons detailed above with my son and obviously jutting out belle...

Visit went well and i got up to leave while at the same time admiring his dining set. he moves close to me and next thing i know is trying to hug me, no problem abi? i sha move my head somehow and next thing i hear smack on my eyes....

Dude was apparently trying to kiss me!!!!!

This is with his wife in their room oh

i warned him seriously when we got outside but really the ways of men just never cease to amaze me!!!

This n that!!!

2010-05-28T20:46:00.002+01:00

Just got back from my mum's place... she was making moin moin amidst so much drama and noise!!!
mumsie likes to be quite dramatic in the kitchen, i remember when i was younger like 4 of us kids, plus help, cousin and whatever child was home were ALL expected to squeeze into the small ok medium sized kitchen and cook ONE pot of stew... kai the drama was always much.... " Turn the soup", " make sure your hand is positioned in this way", then she grabs the spoon and turns the stew herself LOL and of course one person would usually get smacked or slapped LOL

I digress

Today's drama started with how her help is so efficient and how she peeled the beans in 30 mins and i promptly killed her excitement by saying " before nko? does peeling beans require special skill?" kai mumsie oh LOL then she continued with her issuing 20 instructions at the same time and plenty shout shout just to make like 20 pieces of moin moin

Moin moin days are/were really bad i tell you

I guess trauma from these dramas is the reason why i am unable to make moin moin plus another experience from my NYSC days which i will share another day...

My son....

2010-04-15T14:48:00.002+01:00

... is turning out a bit too African for me LOL

I just caught him crushing a chicken bone now and only aunty Afro do i know in the whole wide world that can do such an african thing LOL

The other day i gave him chips which he just kept spitting out so i quietly made eba and you need to see the quantity he consumed!!!!

What an african boy LOL

His vocabulary is getting better though.... at least when you ask "how're you?" he responds with "mine" and he says "memen" at the right time during prayers... he's learning alleluia now....

His favourite word though is NOOOOOOOOOOO which he says no matter the question asked... i just tire.

He also has a cockroach chasing hobby, i mean the other day we saw a roach and i took off while he scampered after the thing to catch it LOL i was quite ashamed of myself to say the least :D

so now what do we do about this his africannness ehn?

Old fashioned but happy?

2010-04-01T17:25:00.003+01:00

i'm staying at my brother's for a while....

And i find something quite amusing which he and his wife have practised for as long as i can remember. They're young both less than fourty but they address each other as Mummy A and Daddy B!!!

Now it's funny to me because i know no one else in this generation who does that. Infact when he calls her, she says sahhhhhh LMAO.

sillier i assume but i find one thing they have a peaceful marriage. Sure there must be other factors that contribute to the happiness and tranquility (even though i find it keeps me kinda edgy... it's too quiet and stiff LOL) in their home but could that be a major contributor????????

That men like to be so respected????????

I call my hubby by name and all my friends do too. None has been disrespectful to him but i have been rude to him several times and though i'm ashamed to say this even in their presence....

i was younger in the marriage then and didn't know better and obviously we were going through rough patches.

But recently a close friend's behaviour to him and some comments that she has made have got me brooding...

Respect really really does have to be given to the man.

But then must i call him daddy?????????

....

2010-04-01T12:35:00.000+01:00

Everything just tire me sha!!!!!!!!!!

The beast in us !!!

2010-02-03T13:01:00.000+01:00

I finally have stuff to blog about.,..

Tis amazing how fury can make words come to you easily...
Living in this Naija is tough and tis amazing how we all have the Beast element in us .
I queued for over two hours to buy fuel. I waited while the tanker discharged the contents and blamed my patience on my jobless state...
Some adjacent filling station was selling at N75 but i insisted that it’ll be better to buy at the recommended retail price....
Anyways the queue starts to move and some niggers who are driving by start to jump into the queue as in if you’re moving slowly they just jump in...
Sha some danfo tries to chance the woman behind me and in the hullaballoo she jams me, her car lights break but we don’t stop struggling till the gates close(they’re letting us in batch by batch, imagine oh)
So i get down to assess the damage and my car’s unscathed...
Don’t know where the rage came from but i start to shout “thief thief thief” to the Danfo driver and clap and really shout i looked like a typical Benin wife( i hear they’re the most quarrelsome ones LMAO)
Of course while i’m shouting queue opens up again and starts to move and another idiot of course takes one space in front of me...
My black skin turned red mehnnnnn
I jump in my car, drive like an agbero, almost destroy my poor jeep in the process. Drive next to the mad man and start to shout, i tell him if he doesn’t back off i will curse him and his children.
Even I couldn’t believe my fury i shouted so much a crowd gathered...
The driver started to mutter some explanation and at this point all my veins were standing...

Kai men looking back now i musta been a sight LOL

Sha the man says to please take my space back...

So i jump in my car and turn on the AC with the small fuel wey remain.

Then some Islamic cleric comes to beg me for space.... If you see as i bone, i tell am say upon all the Islamic meme wey e write for motor he cannot do the right thing abi?
The driver of the said bus say me suppose even respect them as i see their organisation’s name kai na so i begin shout again “ Do the right thing, Do the right thing, DO the right thing”
I shout am so tey i don’t think i wanna hear the words for a long time again LOL LOL
Only for me to end up crashing in hospital again!!!!!!!!!!!
Smallie no well...
Wasn’t too bad sha at least we blasted AC all night, nepa or no nepa, fuel or no fuel...
But all i have to say is DOWN YAR ADUA mehen at least for all these fuel issues......

Thoughts in my head

2009-12-22T16:18:00.001+01:00

So sex actually becomes or can become a chore/bore

At what point do you know this?

When before you’re like “yikes” not today!!!

When during you can’t wait for it to be over?

When afterwards all you have to discuss is Nepa and the state of the nation?

How I nearly lost my gullet today….

2009-12-10T11:15:00.001+01:00

So I suddenly feel thirsty…..

I stroll to the water dispenser

There’s some boy there “fetching” water

Now he’s not extraordinary looking or anything like that oh…

And I see him around anyway.

Anyway (again LOL) the ogbeni smiles at me

I no come know whether na confusion or devil just wan cause me problem

Na so I fetch water for myself too oh, from the pink tap side…

I also feel a need to drink the water right there…

Thank God say na sip I sip no be gulp

I saw/felt/heard my gullet/throat turn pink!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO

Na that boy smile wan cause me problem….

In this my old age

Just sitting here.....

2009-12-03T09:14:00.001+01:00

.... humming Christmas carols to myself!!!!

Tis indeed the season to be jolly.

I'm kinda happy today...

I've just ordered a Christmas tree and I’m gonna buy "Ina Olorun" LOL for my son and myself today....

It's some Christmas thing/accessory/toy/… that you light up which burns for a few seconds before it fizzles out.... I think most people who grew up in Naija will have an idea of what I’m talking about :)

I've never known what the real name is!!!! LOL

Thank God knock out/bangers have been banned in Lagos. They’ve always petrified me!!!!

I think I will also attempt to bake cookies/brownies this Christmas…. Wish me luck people!!!

Embarassing moment!!!

2009-11-28T08:35:00.000+01:00

An aunt of mine just caused me some embarrassment….

She told another aunt of mine that “fluffy is in the family way you know”

I don’t know which embarrassed me more the fact that fluffy “is indeed in the family way” or the expression “in the family way”!!!

Na wa.

Hey you...

2009-11-23T11:52:00.002+01:00

Have i missed you or what?????

I wan blog

2009-10-14T13:37:00.001+01:00

…but I no know wetin to blog

It's not always rosy!!!

2009-09-23T09:57:00.000+01:00

What a weekend i had...
I got to rest and at least i spent some time with my little boy...
Who by the way can how hiss :D
He was beating my neighbor the other day(they’re always fighting) and she hissed at him... He looked at her so sternly (particularly at her mouth) and made a clucking sound with his tongue...LOL
You need to have heard how we laughed at him…
The yeye boy: D
That’s the only thing that seems stable in my world right now…
There’s been a lot of talk on blogsville and by some strange coincidence about “what you’ll do if you husband’s cheating etc” I have been very opinionated about the matter. I keep going on and on about not tolerating nonsense from any man etc etc Funny that right now I find myself somewhat confronted with this and have not the foggiest idea what to do or how to deal with the situation!!!!!!!!!!!
Not like I’ve actually caught him in the act or something but definitely there’s something fishy and funny going down…
I just feel helpless!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into a friend of mine over the weekend, we did some catching up and she mentioned that she was seeing a married man.
All I said to her was “as long as you both are happy”
But deep in my heart I knew it was wrong and I shouldn’t have supported the whole idea….
But again I felt helpless!!!!!
My suspicions are causing me grief and talking them over really hasn’t helped!!! He just couldn’t be bothered to prove my suspicions unnecessary or otherwise…
Feel so frustrated and of course that just makes me turn to food…
It’s seems to be a vicious cycle...
Hope I get out of it soon!!!

Just ranting!!!

2009-08-21T12:10:00.002+01:00

Got some cotton bud stuck in my ear yesterday…

Don’t know why I decided to clean or rather just stick the thing in, in the middle of the night!!!

I poured in water and oil trying to get it out and of course it went in deeper LOL

It was most uncomfortable I tell you…

Ended up in hospital sef…

But at least they got it out.

I surely won’t be cleaning my ears for a few days :D

Ayobami can now clap his hands, plus bite, plus eye people…

Yep eye people…

He just starts batting his eyes furiously like there’s something in it…

Took me a few days to realize that was what he was doing LOL

These are some of the "hazards" of starting school i guess LWKMD

As for the biting it’s deadly I can assure you. He pretends like he’s about to hug/kiss you and of course digs his teeth in and then if you shout…

HE

Starts to cry LOL

Yeye man.

What a week this has been, got a congratulatory message from HR on spending 7years at my place of work….

Kai

And to think I wondered how my mum and her colleagues spent 35years working at the same organization…

Na so e kuku sey start...

Time to move oh!!!!

Biko

I'm a big boy now!!!

2009-08-11T10:01:00.001+01:00

The young koko(male for kokolette LOL) has become a … (what is the adult form of kokolette biko?)

Anyway the young man is now all so grown up!!!

Yesterday he discovered the “joys” of sipping juice from a straw… normally we’d use his sippy cup but I just gave it a try and what a sight it was…

My whole chivita was gulped down fast…

Woulda put up a picture but he was holding my hand so tight I couldn’t reach for a camera, and of course in his excitement he was rushing the juice till he started choking and then he threw up ALL the juice

Better luck next time eh?

We can also now climb down from the bed oh!!!
God is truly amazing. That Ayobami can process climbing down from the bed himself????

It’s a sight you need to experience.

First he starts off humming(this is the amusing part, what nonsense is he humming LOL) then he spins so his legs are facing the edge and he keeps sliding and sliding till he’s standing at the edge of the bed!!!!!!!

I mean who taught him these things??????

We’re trying to stand ourselves as well and occasionally he just takes his hand off whatever’s supporting him for a millisecond and he grabs it RIGHT back….

Kai my baby had grown oh!!!

Did I mention he’s started day care? Our nanny quit on us oh so we’re in school now!!!!

He’s the smallest in school and so far so good sha, there have been no mishaps. He’s settling on fine but seems to be the chatterbox in class…

He’s really taking after aunty Afro in that aspect ;)

Anyway I’m just an excited mummy today!!!!

Weekend matters...

2009-07-27T09:26:00.001+01:00

Weekend matters…

E ma gba mi oh.

On Friday night Ayobami totally refused to sleep, actually I allowed him doze off by about 7pm and of course he woke up at midnight HUNGRY!!!

So he ate and of course was most energized LOL

There he was all over the room, bed he was just everywhere.

Anyway moi and Mr. one way or the other got tired and dozed off…

I remember waking up at some point and was shocked to see the young man Ayobami standing next to me…

That wasn’t even the problem

He was sticking his tongue out and believe it or not was happily licking the mosquito net!!!!!!!!!

LWKMD

If you see how I grabbed him and backed him till the bugger dozed off….

I don’t know whether in his father’s village dem dey chop mosquito net LOL

My son got some new sleep suits from aunty Afro…

She’s turning out to be quite a good godmother

Even though the sleep suits were PINK sha J.

But he looks cute in them all the same LOL

AIrplane seats

2009-07-14T16:54:00.004+01:00

Believe it or not....

I walked into a hospital today and at the reception they had ...

wait for it

(i'm copying bumight) hehehehehe

Airplane seats like these ones as seats...

I nearly laugh die...

Were it not rude i'd have taked pictures sincerely!!!!!!!

All sorts in this Lagos sef...

I also saw an old school mate of mine...

She pretended not to see/recognise me

Me sef no bother

But i remember running into once many years ago

she rushed to say hello to me

Why?

Her cousin whom she came to see was not available

In short she had no transport money to return to whence she came from...

I assisted her that day....

Amazing how she never even said thanks/showed appreciation after that day

And then today,

She didn't even see me!!!!!!!

Issues of life....

2009-07-03T11:33:00.001+01:00

So my car arrived....
I'm having challenges keeping the exterior clean,
Lagos roads are a mess...
Muddy waters everywhere
How do people in Lag without drivers/mai guards keep their vehicles clean?
I get home kinda late so cannot visit car wash(es?)
Abi?
My weight loss is progressing well..
I'm keeping a food diary and i've lost 2kg already :)
I try to exercise seriously now.... long walks and the likes...
Found myself panting after climibing stairs the other day and realised that was certainly not the way to go...
Smallie too is now a big boy.
He drinks from "sippy" (i love that word) cups now and we have even started sitting(but not necessarily using) our potty LOL
Na wa ...
They grow so fast!!!
Please note that i AM NOT PREGNANT at this time... depsite my earlier suspicions
Mr would have returned me to my parents should that have been the case LWKM
Looking forward to the weekend...
Going for a 10 year old party, and i'm excited imagine??????
I've become such a bore now....

Master toilet

2009-06-16T16:18:00.000+01:00

Don't know what my landlord was thinking but this is what our master toilet looks like

The bath area is behind the WC

So you have to "jump" across to take a shower ...

and God help you if you are pregnant

Emergency people

2009-06-16T16:10:00.001+01:00

I think i'm pregs once again

I mean my poor son can't even walk yet!!!!!!!!!

I threw up earlier today which is most unusual, my tummy's been hurting too like the first time i got pregs!!!!!!!!!!

Chai what the frig am i gonna do!!!!!!!!!

"no rice" day 5

2009-06-12T11:34:00.004+01:00

Well not technically "no rice" day 5 sha
i managed to only get to Day 4 L

I do feel less bulky sha

and i must say even though my weight hasn't dropped (according to the scales) i have lost weight :D
This is like a mind over matter thing biko
My colleague just yabbed me sef that all i seem to eat is rice...
But really what else can one really eat around here????????
i cannot kuku bring eba to work. abi?
This weekend i'm gonna detoxify myself with honey and efirin(do not know the English name but it's called scented leaf i believe)
Maybe i'll just drink it tonight sef...
with bitter leaf juice :D ... chai the things we do to stay healthy
my baby has catarrh
I was "forced" to suck it from his nose!!!!!
The joys of being a mum abi? i hear there's some instrument for doing that but seeing as i don't have this apparatus i had to improvise or do as my mum did....
Mschheeeewwww
Looking forward to this weekend like anything...
Spending the whole time at an aunt's. I'll be pampered for a change ;)
Kai what a long week this has been!!!!!!!!

No rice... Day 2

2009-06-09T08:47:00.001+01:00

span style="color:#00cccc;">So it's day 2 and i've managed to say no to eating rice.

i woke up feeling lighter and in fact squeezed into an old top of mine but alas i strolled into the office and everyone went agog and kept calling me FAT!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL they should not worry very soon they'll eat their words...

I ate moin moin today it was quite nice and even though i've been thinking of food all day i've managed not to throw anything into my mouth...

I think i like my doctor...;)

i saw him earlier today and was just grinning from ear to ear. Infact my greetings were stuttered.

what in blazes is wrong with me... LOL

May Mr not catch me!!!!!

Today's been mostly dry... nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

The car dealer called though, he says i might be getting a black car.

Woulda preferred another colour though, but hey it'll just have to do ;)

No rice .... Day 1

2009-06-08T16:21:00.000+01:00

It's the first day of my "no rice" week...
So far so good
I feel all the fat coming off already ;)
Though i gobbled up loads of rice last night, just to sustain myself sha ;)
Kai the weight must go after all this suffering oh.
i think in my former life i musta been a rice weevil because that's my staple diet!!!!!!!!
Rice, rice and more rice:)
and in addition to losing weight i wanna discover the other Nigerian or even foreign foods that exist...
I need suggestions/ ideas people ;)
I tried today oh, i went to Ghana high and i didn't buy rice. I actually bought beans and dodo
though the beans tasted yucky sha but i ate it all the same.
Hope i won't lose all the weight and husband will nack me another belle immediately oh
Because......
anyway no comments...
The young man Ayobami is finally moving in his walker now, though only backwards but he's sha moving sha..
Before he'd sit in it and just cry and cry... LOL
My week has started off quite nicely
I did some "home improvement" over the weekend. I even bought a cactus plant for my balcony.
what i really wanted was a puppy but my landlord won't allow... so the cactus is my pet for now ;0
My only prayer is that it won't die before next weekend when i'll have time to water to it...LOL
I'm off to finish off my beans and dodo....

Randoms(as usual LOL)

2009-06-04T14:16:00.000+01:00

Don't know what's wrong with this yeye blogger i've been trying to no avail to post a post since all these days and it's been misbehaving...

Hope this one goes through sef..

Smallie started crawling oh, i almost burst into tears when he did.

Husband of course ruined the moment by shouting that can't i see the boy heading for wire that i'm standing there doing/saying "he's crawling, he's crawling"

Oh well....

men and their ***issues***

Is it just me or how come i'm suddenly more tolerant and loving towards my hussie?

Just happens that at this time he has just deposited for my motor :D

Women are materialistic huh?

or maybe it's just wives??????? LOL

I find that since there has been talk about this car i have of my own volition decided to step up my wifely skills just to make Mr continously happy *** ahem***

;)

Anyway life has been good, we got a new boss.

He's a fine young Arab!!! Dresses sharp but English? no comments my good people.

I'm trying to revamp my home...

Barely did up the place since i married and had the baby etc etc

I need ideas please!!!!

For one, i have been sifting through my wedding presents and trying to get rid of junk in my kitchen. Is it compulsory to have matching mugs and plates?

Next week in a bid to lose some more weight( i dropped off the bandwagon people, now i'm serious about it LOL)

anyway in a bid to shed this now famous weight, next week i'm not going to eat any RICE!!!!!!!!!! or drink any COKE!!!!!!!

So help me GOD~!!!!!!!

2009-05-21T17:11:00.001+01:00

Oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just typed a long post and this STUUUUPPPIIIDDDDD blogger of course didn't save or publish it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arrrgghhhh

Hmmm...

2009-05-12T13:44:00.001+01:00

This is the fourth time I’m typing this post...

This yeye blogger something is just refusing to publish it!!!!!

It doesn't even save so i have to keep typing over and over again...

Loud hiss!!!!!!!!

Anyway....

That's us loving ourselves :D

I caught Ayobami playing with his peepee the other day

**ahem****

Told him to "come on stop that" and he started giggling

The bugger

Hope he doesn't turn it into a habit oh LOL

What a week last week was, we spent the whole time in hospital... Smallie had malaria and a viral infection...

I learnt that sleeping on a "student mattress" with an infant is not fun i can assure you...

I also learnt how silly footbal can turn men into!!!!

Our room mate's daddy was watching a match...

Chelsea and Barcelona i believe

I even took his son off him so he won't kick the boy from all the excitement

all i know is one minute he was VEEERRRY happy

Next thing the room went silent

People...

I saw tears as in water well up in Daddy's eyes

I thought it was a joke....

Water in the eyes ke??????????

Because of football????????

O ma ga oh...

Apparently Chelsea lost at the last minute hence the tears....

LOL

And they say WE are the emotional ones!!!!!!!

Random wonderings

2009-04-29T14:04:00.000+01:00

Thought of something i really wanted to blog about today

Alas i've forgotten what it is LOL

However i was wondering why folks (around here especially)start sentences with "sorry oh" do you bla bla bla or "sorry oh" please can you bla bla bla

Must be the same reason people ask you to "dress" when they want you to scooch(move) over.

I just wonder sha

I'm missing my son, been gazing at his pictures all day...

we haven't been spending so much time together his grandma is around so i try to share him and not cling to him too much when i'm home.**Can't wait for their visit to be over*** so we can resume our love ;)...

Heard the boy whining in his sleep last night, he must've been hungry and of course i was FAST ASLEEP

Managed to feed him with my eyes and his of course still closed...

Must every mum with an infant ALWAYS be sleep deprived??????????

It's been quite a week(already abi)

I'm ... deprived as well.

i feel like i'm malfunctioning....

Kai what the heck have i just typed LOL

Hazards of Living in a face-me - I - face- you

2009-04-15T09:31:00.005+01:00

Came out of my flat and met my motor in this state!!!!!!

What is your occupation??????

2009-04-08T11:16:00.002+01:00

I know when we were small the answer to this question was really simple

Lawyer

Doctor

Teacher

For some people it was even

Nurse

Mechanic

Typist

LOL etc etc

But you see these days when i'm filling a form and i have to fill in occupation i just quietly write "Telecomms" but really really that is not an occupation now.

Abi?

So you now what is your occupation???????

Escalators and other matters!!!!!

2009-04-07T12:47:00.002+01:00

Yesterday i was at MM2

The place is quite fine, quite a far far cry from the former local airport.

Infact see the name sef "local airport"

Anyway this MM2 is really really cool not totally like Heathrow or JFK but well on the way to being there..

Even the toilets

Beautiful

Anyway i hopped on the escalator in my heels and immediately

Remembered ....

The first time after a long time i hopped on an esclalator!!!!

In this Lagos for that matter...

I have vague memories of getting on them at the kingsway or Bhojsons stores downtown Lagos

But those stores had long closed down so of course no escalator rides for me until this particular day...

I went to see some toaster of mine, in fact in my mind we were dating but apparently he defined the association as something else(story for another day)

anyway i wore my bestest suit and bestest heels to go and see this fellow

Tis not easy to be seeing a banker now. Abi?

we sha reached the office some place in VI and he came out to meet me... we chat small and he says "ok come on in "

He hops on the escalator and for the life of me i'm clueless as to whether i'm supposed to get on immediately or wait for the "thing" to drop him and come back and pick me...

He is chatting on assuming i'm behind him!!!

As soon as i see him trying to turn and ask me a question(i think) i quickly hop on ...

Of course in my haste to avoid being "disgraced" yours truly drops her ID card and almost sliced my fingers in the process...

Then i'm holding the railings till the bugger says " Fluffy can you see that driver holding the railings??????? Bush woman"

So i let go and i'm praying in my heart that this 2 minute ride will soon come to an end.... at the top of the thing, i hop off and miss my step etc etc

God sha saved me, i no break teeth....

We talk for a bit and i need to take my leave (he's at work after all)

The ride downstairs was excrutiating.

Yours trulyt missed my step while getting on and was balancing precariously at the edge of the thing for most of the "journey"

I know at some point i felt something hook my shoe but fear no even gree me look down...

As we "disembarked" i thanked God for seeing me through and as i took a step forward i realised i had a

LIMP...

Chai the heel of my shoe na im break that time....

If the ground could have opened i for happily dive enter am.... LOL

By this time i don dey sweat...

"Darling" was still talking ,of course i heard nothing he said... I promptly limped to a wall (made sure he didn't notice) and stood like an idiot with my shoe(the broken one) touching the wall and kept making small talk and hoping darling would go away oh.

Darling no gree comot oh LOL

Then some chick i knew strolled by. ordinarily I would've walked to her to say hello, people i pammed against the wall till SHE came from her somewhat far distance to greet me oh!!!

Eventually sha, darling said he had to go and went away...

I watched him disappear on the evil esca.... wetin call before i turned and left ohh...

Kai the walk down the street was long, with those stupid okada laughing at me and saying all sorts of nonsense...

LMAO

Worse still of course i had no money for cab and still had to take bus home with my LIMP

LOL

Somebody was faffing around!!!!!!

2009-03-25T14:35:00.005+01:00

Kidnap attempt

2009-03-16T10:17:00.006+01:00

What a weekend i had!!!

Planned to exercise on Saturday morning but that was saboteured sorry sabotaged by an emergency i had!!!

My dog was kidnapped.

I kid you not, he actually went missing for days and had apparently been nabbbed by some fellow for the purpose of crossing his female doggie.

Anyway, we- my friend, brother and I went to see the guy to collect our dog back. He gave us some cock and bull story and sha refused to give us back our thing. we sha spoke plenty Turanci and he clearly saw how the dog was hovering around us and licking us etc before he says ok, he'll take us to where he got the dog from.

meanwhile my brother marched the traitor of a dog to his real home!!!!

The bugger like a typical guy was drooling after pussy LOL

We arrived at the supposed owner of dog's shack and he takes us to another fellow called Murphy who we met jogging!!!

Summary of the talk with Murphy is below...

Murphy says he's been taking care of the dog for the past three months and that in fact the dog doesnt eat "anyhow" foods i.e he has invested in the dog.

I'm like story the dog has only been missing for a few days but we thank you for caring for him anyway...

Mceeeheeeewwwww

So he says to tell the 1st supposed owner what we wanna do that he is busy...

Oniranu

Of course i told the guy i'll send him a recharge card at my convenience and give him my no. He said he had no phone (or something of the sort)

Big mistake....

he calls me later in the day to say Murphy's threatening him etc

So i say no shakes....

Ask Murphy to meet me in front of "Area F" police station

Of course the bugger hasn't called me since then.

Believe it or not ....

The bugger of a dog has managed to find his way back to where the female dog lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The joys of owning a MALE DOG!!!!!

Bloody prick LOL

Impressive huh?

2009-03-13T15:26:00.004+01:00

Well i must say i did miss you :*

My blog that is ;)

My enemies were at it...

Internet access was taken off at work , luckily some oga "intervened" and here we are again today!!!

Nevertheless my weight loss battle has continued

Not as rigid as it shoulda been but i tried sha and i squeezed into my old size 12 trouser and top yesterday and today....

I'm still nervous about stepping onto a scale, i cannot bear the discouragement that comes with not having lost 5 kg over the past 2 weeks!!! LOL

I've been quite good though, haven't even had a soft drink for 2 weeks or more and late night eating is ALMOST eradicated.

This weekend i'm going to really really try to break my addiction to rice!!!!!!!!!

I "behaved" quite well during that party weekend oh. Didn't eat so much even though there was lots to eat!!

Been drinking more fluids though and haven't eaten sausage rolls for some time (i'm not saying more than that please) LOL

Squeezed my smallie into buba and sokoto this morning, he looked quite a sight, unfortunately he didn't stay still for a picture...

we'll try another photo session when we wear buba and sokoto next Friday ;)

Poor boy he'll be wondering why his mum is wearing him all these big big clothes LOL

what a week, spent most of it just sleeping and sleeping i tell you...

Need to go and see what's been happening be back soon

Can't say i wasn't warned actually!!!!

2009-03-06T11:40:00.003+01:00

I remember when i first had my baby

One of my well wishers who called had said i was "welcome' into the world of trying to bring out offering from your bag and instead pulling out a rattle or bib and i had quite a good laugh thinking "such errant nonsense"

Well...

I arrived work today and opened my bag only to find a BIB staring at me!!!!!!!!

Thank God i didn't even pull out the thing sef....

God knows how the thing even waka reach there sef LOL

Ah the "travails" of motherhood

Diet is going on rather SLOWLY

Yesterday i had 2 cups of tea and salad for breakfast
2 pepper soup bowls(qty wise) of vegetables and rice for lunch
and 2 small slices of yam and eggs for dinner

So far so good...

I'm always hungry now though!!!!!!!!!

This morning i've had one cup of milo for breakfast

and now i'm having bread and butter for lunch!!!!!!

It's a party weekend this weekend and i'm really hopeful that i'll be strong enough to WATCH and even AVOID eating unhealthy grubs etc. And stick to my smaller portions etc etc

Day 3

2009-03-04T10:16:00.002+01:00

It's the third day and i'm actually beginning to "enjoy" this whole weight loss meme

My lunch yesterday was Fruit n Fibre cereal

and dinner (though i still had to eat late due to the amount of chores i had to complete) was small rice( ok yes i broke my committment) and plenty vegetables +fish. Had one piece of meat too sha

I guess next time i'll have the starchy food for lunch ;)

Today i have reduced the sausages from four to three :D and i had a scotch egg

For lunch ( to make everyone happy) i am having beans and plantain

For dinner i propose to have custard.

But then man proposes and God disposes LOL

Yesterday for exercise i walked uphill to my office car park which is like a few buildings away and ON TOP of a three/four storey building.

i was gasping by the time i reached my motor sef :D

Today i hope to be home early so i can at least skip!!!!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed sha.

Did i mention that my start off weight is 84kg and i'm headed to 70kg.

which i suppose should give me an ideal BMI of below 25?

Gosh!!! You are fat!!!!!!

2009-03-03T09:52:00.002+01:00

So so tired of hearing that i tell you...

Sincerely i have grown "bigger"

And so i'm dieting and infact i'm doing a 21 days challenge of "healthy" eating and "rigourous" exercise

i started on Monday

So far i have been most UNSUCCESSFUL

Yesterday my meals were as follows

Breafast : 5 Bread rolls + akara

Lunch : Small rice + fish/ 2 puff puff(s)

Dinner: Rice and beef

Today so far,

Breakfast : 4 sausage rolls and 2 doughnuts

And i really wanna lose weight huh?

I have identified a major challenge to be my daily consumption of rice!!!

I eat it EVERYDAY.

So i have decided that i will not eat rice for the next THREE (3) days and see if some fat will be burned off

Another saboteur of my weight matter is that i eat late at night...

So now i have to look for grubs that will be healthy and i can eat for dinner

As for exercise ....

DIE ANOTHER DAY LOL

Na wa

2009-02-24T13:18:00.005+01:00

Been wondering how my smallie is supposed to add any weight at all considering that his mummy has drank/slurped/licked/eaten (Vera see what you've caused now) most of his Cerelac...

Kai the thing sweet oh!!!

I've spent most of today nursing a running stomach....

Must be my punishment for stealing out of my baby's grub LOL

He gave me another scare over the weekend

Saw some blood like stains in his diaper....

Rushed to doctor who calmly told me the boy just needs to drink more water.

Apparently his urine had become so concentrated it had crystalizz/ssed. Hence the stains in his "pampers" LOL

I have bought ribena to help US BOTH on this "increase fluid intake" challenge.

my weight seems to have come off a bit, i managed to squeeze into an old dress of mine for a wedding on Saturday. Fine my boobs were all still squeezed and all but alas, i was in the dress!!!!

What a day, i look quite hawt in my new white skirt today ;0

This is plus all the nodding off i've been doing on my desk all week.

My smallie now has a new habit of not sleeping from about 3am till dawn. Last night he was actually kicking me so i couldn't even ignore the bugger LOL

I'm striving towards achieving a complete home/work balance.

I haven't got a maid at the moment so i'm juggling being a maid/driver for myself plus worker.

I also function as cook and wife plus mom too.

Ko easy rara

Not sure what i'm typing anymore my eyes have started to close again

Good bye biko

Peek- a -boo

2009-02-10T09:45:00.004+01:00

Peek

Boo

:D

That's Ayobami, playing peek- a boo- on his Daddy's back!!!!!!

Do not plan bad bad things for your spouse!!!

2009-02-06T12:52:00.002+01:00

My hussie upset me like 2 days back.....

He shouted at me. LOL

Throughout yesterday i refused to speak to him even though he made a miniscule effort at apologising...

(Don't know why men can't just say they are sorry!!!)

Anyway i thought of the perfect revenge and decided that...

I will make yam pottage for dinner

Knowing fully well that he DISLIKES yam

Especially when it is served for dinner(he believes it should only be eaten(worst case scenario) at/for breakfast.

I stopped off after work, to buy ugwu just for garnishing the pottage and to pretend i was making a special meal for him ;)

I got home quite exhausted, parked and carried baba kekere upstairs plus like four bags and our laundry etc etc only to realise the keys weren't in my bag.

Came back downstairs and searched the car frantically for another like half hour, still no key.

Finally was forced to call husband(whom i had refused to speak to all day) to see if he was on his way home etc etc

Meanwhile i sat in the car,praying mosquitoes wouldn't destroy my poor son's American skin ;)

My neighbour came back from work and moi plus baba kekere went to chill in her crib. We were there till like 10pm when hussie finally came.

He had been stuck in traffic.

Of course by this time, it was too late to start making any nonsense pottage and i was so "happy" to see Mr, that my revenge plans were immediately thwarted!!! :D

I made him eba and he cleaned his plate"happily"!!!

You won't believe i got to work this morning and looked in that cubicle(not the glove compartment) the one underneath the radio space and there was THE SAID MISSING KEY STARING AT ME!!!!!!

URRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in a real dilema!!!!!

2009-02-03T09:20:00.002+01:00

Saw my vet, sorry my dog's vet :D the other day, and he told me my doggie looks bereaved...

I mean of all the words in the dictionary "bereaved" loun loun LOL

Anyway it then dawned on me that perhaps i really cannot keep the doggie anymore!!!

Story is that the doggie was given to me by my ex for christmas a few years back..

Alas i did not marry that ex(story of my life abi? ;) and the dilema is

1. My hussie does not really really like pets i.e dogs

2. We live in a house with other tenants who may or may not appreciate living with an animal

3. Were i to even insist on moving the doggie in, i would have to accomodate him on the balcony which just won't do

4. Our landlord has stated expressly and categorically that he does not like pets!!!!

5. My mum and other occupants of her house are not really really able to show the dog as much affection as i showed it, thus he is being neglected :(

6. I have a baby now and thus less free time

Not like i don't like sorry love the doggie anymore but there's just so little time to partake in "extra curricular activities" ;) these days.

So now i am thinking of SELLING the dog, i should make about 20-25000 bucks if i do.

That's quite some money if you ask me sha LOL

But i feel so wracked with guilt i just don't know what to do!!!!

>>>.....

2009-02-02T10:35:00.004+01:00

... wanting to blog about so MANY things

But i just can't seem to find the words right now.

For a start i've resumed work and right now i'm really wishing i could resign and be a housewife!!!

Mehn i'm sleepy, and missing my long long hours in bed with my smallie so much!!!

Everyone's commnenting on my weight!! Trust people to rub in your sore points!!!

Na dem know jare :D

Lemme try and settle in be back soon :-*

This new year....

2009-01-13T15:22:00.004+01:00

Help me oh!!!
I’m back to my pregnancy weight!!!
Caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror and thought “ chei wetin be this”
My hips are A-line like all those market women and I have arms that actually vibrate when I stretch them out, Christian mother arms I think that’s what they’re called lol
My tummy at nine months didn’t even jut out like it’s looking now L
Got on the scale a few days later and alas I’m back to my weight as at the day I had my baby!!!!!!!
I really need help, I don’t even know where to start from to shed all this weight.
I have resumed aerobics class but that’s only on Saturday mornings, then I’ve kinda stopped having proper dinner I just try to stick with custard or pap.
The only exercise I get to do around the house is cleaning, cleaning, washing clothes, plates, scraping shaki, waiting on baby, serving daddy in the kitchen and the room ;) etc etc
I resume work in like 2 weeks and I need to resume looking like a chica ;)
God help me oh…

CRISIS (PRONOUNCED CREASES) HOLIDAY

2008-12-29T13:58:00.000+01:00

What a very unmerry Christmas I had
My smallie was ill, he cried the whole night before Christmas day and the whole day too. I dismissed it as colic which they say has no “cure”. Till a friend insisted I take him to hospital. Apparently it was malaria!!! And a high percentage too. Thank God I took him oh, woulda killed myself if anything had happened to him due to my negligence. I had allowed my decisions be influenced by everyone including myself that gripe water plus hot massage of his tummy would heal the colic.
He’s much better now at least not crying uncontrollably anymore.
He also drank his medicine like a good boy this morning. At first he threw it up, then I told him to keep that up and I will be forced to keep giving him over and over till he co-operates lol he gulped it like it was yoghurt.
Meanwhile the Crisis(creases) has forced us to return to exclusive breast feeding. He just refused to have any SMA gold in his mouth lol silly boy doesn’t know I resume work in another month and that SMA will so be guzzled down by him :D
Anyway I’ll see about resuming the formula by tomorrow. I’m trying to be a loving mum and indulging his “excesses” LOL
I was forced to bring out my boobies in public by the way…
At a party for that matter but we covered it with some flannel…
Never say never people
Abi?

These parenting matters

2008-11-27T16:50:00.003+01:00

Things have definetely taken a different shape from when our parents were nursing you know

Just the other day my friend and I were wondering who will bathe our grandchildren considering that we barely know how to bathe our own infants right now LOL

i was forced to start bathing Ayobami when he was like 2 weeks old and i'm sure he was unclean for like 2 days till i got the hang of it and even remembered i had one oyinbo contraption called a baby bather to make things easier!!!!

The advent of baby bathers has just made it worse... i imagine myself telling my daughter in law where to buy the things and reading the manuals to them LOL

As against my dear mum and mum-in-law who are around to religously wash their grandchildren and do it with such skill, plus massage and all!!!!

Then there's this singing to babies meme

I just don't see myself getting the hang of it

My mum has formed all sorts of songs in the past month but my head just goes blank when i try it and instead i blow fone to my son and tell him "Mummy's here" when he's crying.. :D

Even his father has some village songs to sing to him when he's yelling LOL

As for public breast feeding that's such a huge no no

Even though a number of my hussie's friends have "caught" me bra down, feeding and i just thought scuttling off with boobs hanging out would make the situation more dastardly so i sat my butt there quietly LOL

Of course those are the times Ayobami would clutch to me like he hasn't eaten for 2 days and refuse to end his meal :)

Kai thank God for breast pump oh because i just no fit comot that thing for church or party biko

Na wa, God help me be a good mama sha!!!

I cannot understand...

2008-11-27T14:29:00.002+01:00

... Naija TV

Seeing as i have been confined to my residence following the birth of my young Mr...

I must say i have been immensely tortured by TV.

I mean i cannot understand how people who don't have DSTV cope!!!

Even the DSTV has become so so freaking boring but that is story for another day and when you call their call centre they have the impudence to tell you " Thank you for choosing Multi Choice" like you actually have a "choice" around here.MSCHEWWWW

The DSTV is connected to just the living room and for some reason which even i cannot yet fathom I prefer to sit in my room all day long so i am stuck with watching Naija TV if i must watch any tv!!!

Ok maybe because there's a bed i can lie on there that's why i'm always in my room :D...

I flip through all the channels and believe me ALL OF THEM show nothing but repeat broadcasts of musical shows especially Naija music videos.

Day in Day out oh!!!

Morning, noon and night sef ...

MITV occasionally punctuates with Project fame and silverbird the occasional OLD series which provides a welcome relief

I can't understand it i tell you.

The videos themselves are tortoreous(hope that spelling's correct :D). all sorts of rubbish. One of the nonsense that totally drives me mad is "fire by skuki" those punks should be arrested biko!!!

I even resorted to my usually "amusing" Nollywood films but believe me they've gone from bad to worse. They're totally unbearable now...

Please how do housewives around here entertain themselves??????

Just needed to rant biko

Inlaw matters :D

2008-11-17T12:07:00.000+01:00

I've had my hands quite full with adjusting to caring for the baby all day and night plus lack of sleep, only 2 days back i decided to follow advise as seen on the internet and sleep when the individual is asleep. It's the best decision i coulda made for myself i tell you.

The first few days were quite ok, i had loads of people around and it was really exciting and all. unfortunately we had to return to the hospital because he had some jaundice, it was a scary period i tell you. The hospital didn't let me stay and at night i'd lie awake and be near tears wondering how he's faring and so on.it all ended well thankfully we were discharged on the day of his naming ceremony. we had a small reception at home which was fun.

Though i ended up in trouble with my mum and her friends because i refused to wear iro and buba LMAO. I couldn't be bothered jare, not like i was sitting amongst guests or anything I was in my room with my crew so hey ;)

My mum in-law was around for a few days and boy did i receive a few amusing shocks ;0
First there was the issue of massage your tummy with hot water and stuff. i didn't mind it really though i couldn't understand what the fuss was the she said to also massage my "you know what" i thought she meant was a sith bath and i explained that i had no tears etc and didn't need one. But she said i'd be farting from my vajayjay so i obliged her.

She said to put a hot towel between my legs

So i did so...

Next thing she grabbed the towel and started to massage my vajayjay by herself.....

You shoulda seen the shock on my face!!!

Even my mama no fit put hand for my kini

it wasn't funny at all i tell you

The pain/discomfort was one thing but the embarassment no in fact mortification was another!!!!!!!

I couldn't just believe my eyes honestly

The next day i was ready for her

After she bathed the baby, she faced me and went on about the "benefits" of this massage (as usual). i got out of the bath and sat for the massage, she finished that and said "oya" of course i held on tight to the towel and refused to let go LOL i wasn't going to have her stick her fingers in my vajayjay ever again biko LMAO

She said "oh let me help you do it" of course i nicely told her i'll do it myself

Loud hiss

How can she be wanting to stick her hand in my kini

what errant nonsense

Thankfully there were no other MAJOR dramas before she left, asides stuff like put thread on the baby's head when he hiccups, like that can actually stop the hiccups LOL...

His arrival...

2008-11-09T19:51:00.003+01:00

That morning i was dressed early for my ante natal appointment

Mr gave me a ride, we hung out for a bit in his office and he dropped me off at the hospital

it was a normal ante natal day!!!

A friend of mine was also at the hospital that day and we kept each other company till the doctors arrived. She was there to have her baby that day and i wished her the best and went in to see the doctor.

He said he wanted to examine my pelvis, most disconcerting process i tell you LOL he actually stuck his fingers INSIDE me!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway in between my yells i heard him say " madam you're in labour, you're already 3cm dilated"

So i'm like what next!!!!!!!!

My hospital bag is barely packed, baby's room n clothes etc ain't fully ready. i'm barely ready as it is!!!

Neeways i sat the whole day in the hospital reading a novel and pitying the lady next to me who was in labour. she was groaning and i really felt strong to myself considering i was making no noise at all!!!!!!! had i known what awaited me...hmmm

By the time the doctor broke my water kai the pain had started, it's a combination of menstrual cramps and back ache... Indescribable actually

After what seemed like hours to me, (but husband said it was just minutes), we were in the labour room and men that stuff is real hard labour!!!

my back wanted to break and i felt like having a real hot shit.... i just kept screaming "i wanna pupu oh" LOL

Finally we did all the "push push" and baby slipped out. i was really fortunate no tears n stuff n from what my hussie said labour was only 15mins.it felt like hours to me...

And alas we had a beautiful baby boy :D

I got a few hours sleep this afternoon hence my ability to sit on the internet, and then I had so much to blog about but it's all flown outta my head!!!

Nepa has now struck, i better get into bed and start fanning this gentleman :D

Genesis is here!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-29T07:16:00.002+01:00

So my "package" arrived three weeks early!!!

Still quite exhausted and trying to settle into the whole meme of being a "baby mama" and stuff ;)

I think he's cute;)...

He eats ALL the time!!!!!!

Keeps me up for most of the night, i'm suffering sleep deprivation as i type:)

Neeways i'm most grateful to God that he arrived in one piece!!!!

BRT and other matters!!!!

2008-10-16T12:23:00.004+01:00

So baby didn't move the whole of Monday evening and the better part of Tuesday, in panic i rushed to the hospital...

Arrived there and the "bugger" made a small move :D

Still decided to see doctor anyway and he ran some test where i was strapped with some bands and some machine was reading and printing the " ogbeni"(individual's) heart beat. I dozed off almost immediately i was "tied up"

It was when the nurse came at the end of the session that i woke up meanwhile i was supposed to have been pressing some .... thing whenever the baby moved oh. But alas yours truly was fast asleep!!! LOL

Anyway pikin is fine and happily(i hope) awaiting his eviction.

Even me sef don tire, i no see cloth wear again. i'm wearing such a large T-shirt today i feel like a sack

Got my first BRT ride that day as well.

Went to eat rice at Ghana high and instead of entering taxi to my house i decided to sample the famous BRT buses!!!

Twasn't bad at all, i got the last window seat after queueing and queueing(they didn't even have the sense to do priority for me and my belle.... loud hiss)

Baby squirmed a bit during the ride, guess he prefers to be transported in a nice ACed motor, preferably with driver driving him and his mama LOL

The bus was rather clean and i was quite impressed at the fact that Lagosians were actually not littering. Infact the lady next to me was eating groundnuts and placing the shells in a bag.

I thought i was some place else!!! i mean she wasn't tossing the shells on the floor!!!!

She however decided to bring me back to reality just before i even finished thinking all this!!!!!!

She tossed the bag of empty shells right on the floor LOL

In all it was a pleasure ride, i thought the driver drove a bit too fast though.

But in all i must commend the government of "His Excellency BRF" that just sounds so silly doesn't it!!!!!!!

It's quite a job well done

His Excellency....

What a day!!!

2008-10-07T15:25:00.002+01:00

It started off pretty normal

I woke up at 5am and was at my desk my 5.50am thereabouts. I dressed up at some point in between the times :D

I listened to a message CD at my desk till i fell asleep on my chair and almost broke my neck. Woke up(again) startled.... Thank God i wasn't drooling, only the cleaner was around ;)

The day was slow, it really really dragged....

Got some shocking news my oga patapata had resigned.... Rumors have it that he was actually forced to resign. No one's job is safe apparently.

Like another 10 of my colleagues had resigned both within my unit and outside...

Kai na wa oh and your truly is stuck here till after maternity leave!!!!!!!!

God will help me in this my search for job sha.

Meanwhile i discovered yesterday that the handset i just bought from a colleague's husband is so so over priced .

As in i bought at N34,000 and street value is N20,000!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai i feel so bad.

I called him and told him my husband has bought me one without realising i had got myself one oh

Can i return etc!!

He's not forthcoming but i no wan quarrel because me and im wife are kinda friendly.

Feel bad at being cheated by people i'm supposedly close to

I mean i dropped his wife and child at home(which was very out of my way oh) for almost a year when she didn't have a car or another means of getting home!!!!!

People just have no conscience sha...

How can he be so mean to me??????

Anyway make we dey look dey go!!!

And so the third one finally happened oh!!!

2008-09-22T15:50:00.005+01:00

Sometime ago my dear friend afro made sorry propounded a philosopical theory that stated that disasters happen in threes....

You can catch up on that gist here

They come in threes

Because I am her friend i also experienced some of this my friend's theory here ....

Afro says...

As at that time i prayed and like Solomonsydelle even advised i rebuked Afro three times LOL....

So this last weekend i finally managed to get Mr in the sack.

Mr has refused to do since he nacked me belle(that just sounds crass don't it he he he?)

Anyway it's been more or less a tug of war to get him to even sleep any where near my side of the bed :D talk less of to do!!!

So we had a small quarrel and "that" seemed to be the best way to make up!!!

Now, we had some family friend's kids spending the night at ours!!!

I had personally+ by myself seen to it that they were fast asleep before getting into bed etc etc

I was trying to make them more comfortable and thus i didn't lock the door to my room(the room no kuku get lock anyway)

And so....

There was Mr and I finally "about to" get our groove on

When i heard/saw the door spring open and hear some mouse screeching "i cannot sleep or you said that you will sleep with me" or some crap that can only come out of the mouth of a five year old LMAO

I was dazed i couldn't believe it oh!!!! and kai that time it was not funny, i assure you.

Mr, of course jumped up, sprung some clothes on or more like tied the bed cloth on himself and escorted the monkey right back to bed....

we had quite a laugh after but i tell you i was quite red from embarrassment.

Thank God the lights were off!!!!

I was just reminded...

2008-09-22T08:21:00.003+01:00

.....by LG's post on madness of some very amusing scene i witnessed a few years back :D
So there i was a new corporate executive ;)

Standing on Karimu Kotun street, waiting to buy food from some woman who had nice, hot and cheap rice+meat, dodo, beans (the works;)...

We were quite a mix- drivers, cleaners, office assistants and a few executives like myself (this was before we stepped up to munchies and the likes for breakfast oh LOL)

This guy is hovering around, and i just thought he wanted to buy his breakfast too and just carried on my banter with my colleague who was with me at the time!!!

The seller says to us all "oh please excuse me, let me sort this fellow out and get on with my business"

So she packs rice, fish, maybe plantain sef into a nylon bag and hands it to the fellow....

Apparently he's mad(i'm not sure what politically correct word to use biko). Must be some effect of hard drugs or something, because he's not as dirty looking as they usually are but you'll know he has a problem sha!!!

Then he moves off and walks right back to her shoulder and says " Aunty what of pure water?"

She was so infuriated she grabbed a broom and flung at him raining abuses on him!!!

At this point i start to laugh because if not that he's truly mad how will someone dash you free food and all you have to say is "Aunty what of pure water"

No thank you, nothing, only aunty what of pure water???????

LMAO!!!!!

My Genesis...

2008-08-29T11:08:00.002+01:00

... will be arriving in 10 weeks ;)

I'm so excited!!!!!

It feels so far and yet so near

Not quite prepared or rather i keep feeling there's still loads to be put in place

Hope this anxiety will not drive me nuts sha

Genesis...

... is going to be my "new" beginning

My very own little me

Or should i say "our" very own little "us"

I'm curious as to the looks, hair, colour, size etc :D

Gosh i just can't wait!!!

Wish i could verbally express how i feel on my inside truly....

Are you clean???????

2008-08-19T08:16:00.006+01:00

How often do you:

take a shower - once a day, sometimes two!!!

brush your teeth - Once a day, except when my mouth feels stinky at night

floss - never

wash your toilet - Once a week

wash your tub/shower - same as above

dust your furniture - when i pass by it and it looks dusty :D

Windex the windows - never

let your dirty dishes sit in the sink/on the counter for more than 1 day? - 36 hours is usually my limit LOL

Use a washer or hand wash your dishes? we don't have option of "washer" in Naija oh so it's always my hands

wear the same jeans over and over? hmmmmm quite often, so that it doesn't fade from constant washing LMAO

wear the same bra over and over? i usually try to change them after two days!!!

wash your car? only when my pants start getting dirty from dragging dust on the floor of the motor and when i can't open the door because dust has caked on the handles and i can't bear to touch it i.e when even I cannot bear the filth anymore!!!

clean the interior of the car? when i looks like a dustbin/garage

cut your toenails? at my monthly pedicures

wash your bed linen? weekly or bi-weekly(depends on how lazy i am that period)

use wet toilet paper (they make those now) instead of dry toilet paper? i use baby wipes now

vacuum? as often as necessary, this could be once weekly or once in two weeks

wash your fridge? It's still new so i haven't had to give it a wash per se, i only wipe spills and stains for now :)

change sponges/dishrags? when they've chopped i change them!!!

put your laundry away after washing them? the laundry usually sits in the basket for a few days before i put them away

take your garbage outdoors? daily or at most every two days

Do you:

dump trash out your car? nope. I'm an advocate for "Let's do it right". I'd rather have the trash in my car.

leave leaves or seeds lying around on your coffee table? i'm sorry i don't have a coffee table(thankfully LOL)

collect junk mail unintentionally? well..... i am a pack rat

have bills everywhere but in one spot? uhun

have stains on your carpet? my carpets are new so thankfully no stains, but my former carpet.....
have dirty handprint marks near your doorknobs or doorways? Nope

toothpaste gels in your sink? never

toothpaste/water splash marks on your mirror above your sink? Nah

have a mop? 2 sef

How do you disinfect?

Lysol

Pine

Dettol(for the Naija people LOL)- Plenty plenty

Ammonia Bleach

other - i use hand sanitizer quite often does that count?

all of the above?

i don't

Ok, Afro i tag you and the first person that comments on this post!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the thing oh!!!

2008-08-12T10:42:00.004+01:00

You remember that thing i said people now use to bath their pikins in the abroad????????

This is it

i never see this kain thing before.

Still trying to imagine how my mother's face will become contorted (Afro that means squeezed or kinda like a frown LOL :D ) when i give her to bath her grandchild LOL

As for my mum-in-law and the granny-in-law who will be coming to visit the baby and probably bathe him/her as well, that will be a good story to tell (i pray) LOL

Even my poor husband is being quite macho about it and pretending it's not a "big deal" so i don't call him a bush man from village LOL

However i still intend to buy those local bath sets, you know those green and blue ones sold all over Lagos that have bucket, soap case, potty and bath. i think some even have foam to wash the child? abi?

Just in case....

And to save even myself from disgrace of not knowing how to use "BABY BATHER" ROFL LMAO

Really running out of titles for this thing....

2008-08-11T11:02:00.002+01:00

So i arrived work bright and early today

Well not actually early, but early considering that i was first to arrive on my floor

...... note that this was at about 8am and we resume work at 8.30am

But then can i blame them, half if not all of my colleagues were stuck in traffic.

I left home with my coat wearing driver at 6am.

The bugger came later than i told him too with his silly pair of glasses that he has taken to wearing these days- morning, afternoon and night.

At least he spared me the trauma of seeing that coat again today.

Two Danfo drivers helped me abuse him and the glasses this morning...

I was very happy!!!! LOL

I've been very energetic today...

So much hyperness in me today

Guess i'm just thankful not to be chained to a bed like i was last week.

Drugs and jabs just ain't my thing. I was popping like 10 tabs or more daily. Maybe it was better than having my poor wrists mutilated by those drips they give people.

A friend of mine wonders why the liquid can't be poured into a cup and served to patients at intervals. Abi???????

Some individual made the headline over the weekend and this morning sef. He actually dashed a "Sorcerer" N510million to do some juju for him. what an absolutely stupid thing to do.....

I didn't even realise juju business was so lucrative around here!!!! LOL

Got some baby stuff yesterday.... I was quite excited and barely slept all night dreaming about them, infact i also made a startling discovery about how people bath their children these days....

I will unfold this new wonder in the land of oyinbo people tomorrow(i pray) LOL

Be back soon i've gabbed enough for one morning!!

...............

2008-08-04T10:01:00.002+01:00

No title for this post jare...

I'm still quite traumatised from sitting in traffic since 10minutes past six am that i left my house!!! Thankfully i wasn't driving but meeehhn even the sitting wasn't fun. I mean not even my driver's "coat" amused me like it did last week.

Don't know why the bugger wears a coat(actually it's a jacket as in suit jacket :D ) anyway, then he wears some silly body/muscle top and layers it with a chain. Does he think he's LL cool J or what?

Forgot to add that he wears white shoes as well LOL

This weekend was quite good. Managed to have my hubby indoors for most of it, save a brief trip to Ibadan so i had to sleep at my mum's. Which was ok, except that i had to watch my dog( yeah i left him at hers) eat paper!!!!!

I gave him suya and rice which he gulped up and next thing i saw he was chewing all the newspapers...

Still quite traumatised by that i tell you LOL

Hoping this week would be interesting and stress free. No health issues and stuff. Still recovering from the SEVEN drips i had two weeks back, my arm still hurts from the jab i took last week too!!

I dreamt that i had a baby girl and my husband took her to work!!!

Hmmm, one just keeps having weird dreams plus itchy boobs plus bump in the front all to have this pikin(s) sha...

Make i go drink Milo.....

I'm having such a slow morning though the clock seems to be moving fast sha

Random ish....

2008-07-14T11:07:00.004+01:00

i resumed back at work today...

I'm so NOT excited to be here!!!

Wish i could go back to my lazing around all day and then running helter skelter at 6pm to make dinner for "you know who"

Gosh, I am so NOT an organised woman LOL

It was 20 days of bliss, just living the life doing absolutely NOTHING ;)

So .....

I went off and got married!!!!!!

Still quite excited about the whole deal.

It's not quite the bed of roses we all dream up in our heads, but not that bad either

I live just a stone's throw from my home... ooops sorry former home so i don't feel totally yanked off my "regular" life.

I miss my doggie to pieces though :( I couldn't take him along, Mr. isn't a big fan of dogs, besides our landlord says NO PETS- chickens, goats, dogs etc, but he can have political meetings in the compound like 5 times in one week, including Sunday mornings!!!! Loud hiss. (Ask me if na me get the house oh?)

My room's still the usual mess and husband is threatening to pack out to another room LOL

My mum still does all the food shopping- meat, pepper, fish etc so i don't have to really do market runs. I find markets in Lagos so traumatising. All that pricing and haggling for deals just drives me mad. And you can't just pay whatever price they say, because according to Yoruba people "it is not kingsway market" LOL

So far so good sha, i'm still on a "high"

The cooking every five hours is quite tasking though!!! I mean i was used to being served, now i have to do the serving plus put the food on tray sef. Thankfully he carries his plate to the kitchen sha (trust me that's a big job for many men to do) ;)

This week i successfully cooked ogbono soup and hussie said it was fantastic(common Afro wipe that silly grin off your face). The soup started out a disaster i must admit, it looked like banga soup at first and i had to toss out the whole pot and start afresh :D Next i'm gonna try WHITE SOUP!!!!

Quite thankful to God for bringing me this far. I believe and hope in Him to see me through it all.

My back really hurts gotta go now

Apparently this is my 100th post!!!!!!!!!

Cheers to me, myself and I.

Hey.....

2008-07-09T22:16:00.002+01:00

.....missed you plenty plenty

So much to tell you!!!

I'll tell you as much as i can tonight before i return computer(na borrow i borrow am)

No worry before 2008 me sef go buy laptop and internet keep for house ;)

If you see as i position myself,just so oga will not wakeup and ask me what i am doing LOL

Anyway i really missed you...

lemme go and sniff what i've missed since all these days

Hmmmmm.....

2008-06-06T15:56:00.002+01:00

I'm gonna be somebody's mama...

Reality is actually setting in

Got some little bulge now

Everyone's asking questions

I'm sleepy most afternoons and i pee every five minutes

Got a dark line across my tummy

My colleague asked me to give her water today, no problem in that yeah?

Just that she wanted it in an empty skittles container!

She's +++++++

Is that gonna happen to me too?

Am i gonna want to keep my feet in a dustbin all day long?????

The smell of food is mostly unappealing to me...

Sometimes i feel so much is expected of me

Like i'm supposed to be different

I still feel the same, though my tops don't quite fit anymore.

Change.

Change..

Change...

N.B- That was supposed to be some poetic/philosophical ending by the way!!!!!!! LOL

Na Nikky tag me oh!!!

2008-06-06T13:29:00.004+01:00

Ok so in a bit to calm down from my very "traumatic" ;) week, i'm doing this tag thing....

Better late than never eh :)

Thought up my six quirks like two nights back but right now i can only think up like two, anyway we'll see how this goes

Y'all know the rules or rather how the game goes....

1. I've never cried because someone died before. I'll be sad and all oh but the tears just don't come out.

2. I can eat rice, morning, afternoon and night.... White rice and stew sha oh

3. I'm a germaphobe. I will wash my hands over and over again. I don't like guys shaking my hands because i feel they never wash hands after peeing and grappling their "you know whats"

4. I cannot iron to save my own life sef. I just cannot get it right. Even if i spend an hour on one item i can assure you it will still come out rumpled LOL

5. Brain has now frozen....

Been trying to put this up for over a month, i better just quietly post it today, before i find myself completing the tag in December 2009 LOL

Awwwwww

2008-06-06T13:29:00.002+01:00

My friend just wrote a poem...

It reminded me of the only poem i've ever received in my entire life...

Kept the yellow paper for ages after...

It touched me each time i read it,

Looking back now,

Puppy love is absolutely idiotic LOL

Heck i even still know the wordings even after 12 years!!!!!!!!!!

"Every day of the week

Your face i persistently seek

Throughout the night

Nothing goes through my mind but your sight

These few words i find hard to say

But i thought to let you know today

That i think of you

Much more than you can imagine is true"

Wonder where the big head is sef...

Probably using the same lyrics on some.....

Loud hiss

Got robbed.....

2008-06-02T15:25:00.004+01:00

..... by my "washerman" LOL

So i got a new wash boy after my original washman threatened to quit on me. Refer to My washman

Anyway, this new wash boy doubles as a "Man Friday" for the whole house and does loads of odd jobs and stuffs...

And he has washed my clothes steadily for like 3 months now.

Next thing i notice my TM is missing and i just assume my sister has "stolen" it or something. My two favourite pairs of jeans also get missing!!!!

I harass the whole house all to no avail.

Only for me to call this my man friday to do some odd job for me and there are my jeans hanging on his butt!!!!

I pretended they weren't mine but noticed he was fidgeting when i said "oh by the way i can't find my jeans.have you seen them?"

Anyway the bugger walked right into my hands yesterday wearing the shirt!!! I almost slapped him, you shoulda seen what my poor shirt had become....

Loud hiss

Gave him a long lecture and told him to go and bring the shirtl. I will rather give my dog to play with than have him ever wear it again

Thief thief boy...

Imagine you can't even trust your own "staff" again

See me see trouble in this abuja oh

2008-05-15T12:57:00.003+01:00

That's how i sat quietly in my hotel room today, sober and thinking of where and how to find money oh...

when hunger started to wire me, so i call room service and ask what's available for lunch...

She reels off all sorts and i just simply say please can i have white rice and egusi with goat meat?

Then she says "ah that would be vegetable rice and egusi" i say nope just "white rice and egusi".

she insists that the white rice would just be garnished with a few vegetables and i'd like it so i say ok then.

next she says how about the starter? we have goat pepper soup and cream of mushroom or onion(can't remember right now) soup.

At this juncture me i ask how much is lunch? and she says N1800 one thousand eight hundred naira only

so i say ok bring the pepper soup then, i can afford N1800 abi?

Then the lady again says i will GIVE you a small bottle of water, and fruit slices as well as ice cream, which flavour do you want? as well.

Yours truly now....

Says ah no problem. i'll be waiting

only for food to arrive half an hour later and i see bill of N3850 Three thousand eight hundred and fifty naira tori Olorun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes nearly popped out. Apparently plus pepper soup, plus ice cream plus fruit slices everything na extra money.

Promptly told the waiter to take it back oh..

And he tells me oh it's not possible etc

i sha sign the bill and sit down to think of the next thing to do.

In the interim i open the food and believe me na fried rice these people give me to chop egusi soup with bitter leaf!!!

You can just imagine the kind of lunch i am swallowing right now!!!!!

Bitter sweet i tell you....

Last night too, i went to buy suya and i tell the guy "please put plenty onions" and the gentleman goes ahead to slice TWO bulbs of onions into my N500 suya.

You can just imagine what i had for dinner, onions with a few pieces of meat...

I'm just about ready to head back to my country of Lagos biko!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God the week's ended

2008-05-09T16:28:00.001+01:00

It's been such a dreary week....

..... never been so happy to see a Friday.

So many issues since monday

Car matters
Issues at work
Sibling issues
Too many bits and pieces hanging loose

Off to Abuja on Sunday for a week

Work!!!

But at least i'd not be in this stress hole for a while

Quite relieved i tell you....

Have a sweet weekend **muah**

This post....

2008-04-25T09:03:00.005+01:00

..... is dedicated

to my friend

who came all the way from "America (that's what she thinks Abuja/Benue state is actually;) " to my house in Lagos just to pound yam for my introduction(family meet and greet) which was last Saturday....

My American friend is so Amercianized she has been quite traumatised by all the traffic in Lagos, as well as dust and according to her "filth" on the streets of Lagos LOL

Anyway sweetie pie i love you so so much and you are my bestest friend in Africa;)

This is what my Americana friend looks like:

My friend is the girl in the picture ;)

Yesterday again....

2008-04-14T07:49:00.007+01:00

.... i ran into him

It had been so so long

Almost didn't recognise him

He looked well, added some flesh to his skinny ass

I met him at some wedding

he was the best man and i fell in "love" almost immediately

Slept in his arms that night , we didn't get down or anything we just gisted till we fell asleep

The friendship continued

I went to see him in abuja, it was a fun week

Almost got ruined though

He discovered i had a boyfriend....

My plan was to leave said boyfriend for him

Some chick came to see him when i to spend the night with friends and left her skirt so i'd know she'd been there ;) LOL

Got back and he tells me about said chick but says they ain't dating because she's

..... too perfect

Anyway he moves back to Lagos and we continue seeing each other

we gisted for hours on the phone, looking back now i did most of the calling

I didn't mind really, i had abundant airtime :)

we took weekend trips out of Lagos often

Twas so much fun...

Attended his sister's wedding and someone asked if i was "the one" he quickly responds "Ah no ma, she's my aburo(little sister) "

Handwriting on the wall yeah?

Fluffy was too much in love to read meaning into all that

We came back from one of our fabulous outta town trips, he drops me off and heads off to his place

then ....

.... he calls me to ask if i know Ada who lives in London + a few other details

of course i know Ada she's my pal

It's her birthday today you know

My gosh i had forgotten my pal's birthday cause i was busy following man...

I wonder how he knows Ada but at that time i needed to call ada and wish her a happy birthday!!!

Ada arrives Naija a few days later

We're gisting and convo moves to her cousin Chinwe's boyfriend....

He's so this, he's so that... he works here and drives this car and lives here

Come oh, he fits into description of my lover boy!!!

Days later my pal deciphers that I and her cousin are shagging same boy...

Cousin i guess feels she's the real deal and keeps sending me messages like

"oh he says you're just his friends sister" "oh he says you guys ain't dating" "oh he says I'm going to be the mother of his child" etc etc

i decide to take a step back and just observe ....

Boy, of course is at this point out of reach....

when i've had enough of all the crap

I pay boy a visit and he says to me(summary)

"well there was no definition to our thing and bla bla bla..."

In shock i went back home and cried till i could cry no more

At some point in the midst of all this drama i discover some "i love you" type cards in his room and receive an ephiphany...

Alas

There's some third chick in the picture as well ...

Anyway Didn't see or hear from him for aeons after

Many months later he called to offer me a puppy, i was going to accept it but the doggie fell sick

so end of discussion....

He starts to call me and somehow we revisit the past, he's kinda sorry for what happened.

didn't mean to hurt me but he found himself in the triangle and decided to cut us all off so we could sort ourselves out!!!!

This kain na we the three chicks cause all the triangular mess

Hmmmm....

You can now imagine my shock when yesterday after we exchange pleasantries

He says "oh come and say hello to my iyawo"

and we walk to car and see KESI

The third chick in the triangle.....

Life and the shit it just dishes your way sometimes.....

Yesterday....

2008-04-14T07:41:00.002+01:00

... i suffered

and i suffered some more

we forgot to load our Prepaid card for Nepa and as such everyone else had light

All day and all night for that matter

while we sat in absolute darkness

Mum said generator noise was too much for her so we sat in the gloom and envied all our neighbours watching Africa magic and the likes

barely slept all night, twas so so hawt...

I'm half asleep as it is!!!

God help me today...

What do you do....

2008-03-26T08:42:00.001+01:00

.... when your maid insinuates, or rather says that your husband tried to molest her?

Randoms

2008-03-20T15:41:00.001+01:00

Just finished rushing one bowl of hot amala... :) LOL

Didn't realise i was so hungry

wolfed it down faster than my doggie would have :D

Meeting my prospective in-laws tomorrow

I'm as nervous as hell

wish me luck peeps

Mondays!!!!

2008-03-17T10:38:00.002+01:00

I "like" Mondays....

The minutes or rather the hours just always seem to fly past

See now it's almost 11'0' clock and one meaningful work i have not done today :D

Anyway my weekend was fun, spent most of it sleeping.

Which was great...

Didn't exercise though ;) woke up late LOL

The drama i encountered getting to work today wasn't funny at all, left home about 6.17am still didn't arrive at work until almost 8'0' clock. Thankfully my brother did most of the driving :O

The horrors of Lagos roads!!!!

One woman at the bus stop when he got off asked for a lift, i "lied" that i wasn't going her way.

Felt quite bad but you see, this Lagos is so unsafe, we can't just be carrying people we don't know abi?

She had a baby and like "3 loads" by her side.

My car is a "darling get down let uncle enter" type of car(2 door hatchback ) so i couldn't imagine having to first packing all her load to the backseat then hopping in.

God have mercy on us all.

The next sin i committed this morning was snooping through my ex's e-mail. why i did it i don't know. Just curious to find out what he was up to i guess

Is it bad to do that sef?

anyway i repent from all my evil ways LOL :D

My vaccum cleaner has just been delivered.

Nna bia

Never buy cheap bags

2008-03-10T08:35:00.004+01:00

I'm seething with rage here...

Supposedly got a good deal on some handbags last week...

They looked quite nice and cost N3000 each. (What a deal LOL)

Quickly i jumped at two black ones!!!

Carried one throughout last week, noticed that the zip wasn't closing too well after like two days

But i figured i had too many stuff in it.

Yesterday when i had barely anything in it, the zip still gave way...

Decided to swap it, for the "other bigger" one this morning...

While strolling into the office, in my new patent shoes, new black trousers and new black bag ;)

I felt a tug and thought .... "hmmm what now?...."

Alas the strap of the stupid N3000 bag don cut!!!!!!!!

Arghhhhh

I'm done with cheap bags, don't know what i was thinking in the first place!!!!

Afro says they come in threes....

2008-02-25T14:03:00.003+01:00

Just sitting here musing over one of my most mortifying moments which occured two weeks ago

I've got this small cousin...

We're pretty "close"

She looks up to me as her older sis(she hasn't got any biological ones you see)

BACKGROUND

My then boyfriend and i were just "rabbits" we would get at it any and every where

So for both our good(s) we decide to keep a pack of rubbers at my place...

I hid it far far away, infact it was in the same envelope i kept my mints which were for spraying at every owambe i went that period.

THE 1st INCIDENT

So my other cousin is getting married and i'm running late as usual. LOL

So i grab the envelope, rubbers n all and rush off to the church

I think i manage to make the joining or something.

At some point we need to drop money in the collection bowl

so i turn to my small cousin and ask her to open my purse and get money from the envelope.

All this time i had totally forgotten the contraband in the envelope.

You can just imagine my shock when she starts pulling them out different colours-pink,yellow, black,blue,i think there was red too.

I went red, trust me my black skin went red.

Heck my siblings were sharing the pew with me plus my friends were there.

I just grabbed the envelope and ran out the church!!!!!

INCIDENT 2

During my last holiday, my bestest friend (whose name i will spare you all) gave me KY jelly and some orgasm intensifying cream which i happily took back with me to Africa...

As usual I stashed it in some bag at the far corner of my closet, ok sorry ward robe...

On this fateful day, my long time "disease" of arranging clothes decided to rear it's head.

So i emptied the ward robe even though it was well arranged anyway and started to arrange.

The next day i was still arranging and this my small cousin came to visit!!!

So she's sitting on my bed, just rifling through the clothes

When she grabs this bag...

Now my back is turned and i didn't even remember i had such goods in my stuff!!!

Sha, she pulls out the gel and cream and asks me

"Sis, wetin be this?????????"

Chai i nearly died....

I quickly stuttered the most hopeless response ever " oh that, my friend gave me to try" I thought adding "when i marry would be absolutely pathetic ROFL>>>>>>>

Now since Afrobabe says these disasters happen in threes,

I'm crossing my fingers on the third "disaster" to happen

I hope she will not actually catch me in the sack sha

Because that one- my friend na die i go just die...

Randoms

2008-02-20T14:25:00.002+01:00

Seems the last time i went to a wedding was aeons ago

Can't remember anyone bringing me aso ebi in the past few months

Could it be that all my friends are now ALL married?????????

This issue of giving children oyinbo names sha

Some relation of mine named her third son ROCK

I've just heard and i still can't get over it i tell you

ROCK as how?????????

Infact that was the exact question i asked the bearer of the "news".

Maybe it's better than the names of the baby's older brothers who are "Bundle of Joy" and "Champion"

Loud Hiss

I'm as bored as hell today, came out of a long meeting which further heightened my boredom

People just like to speak many oyinbo sha

One chick in the meeting just dey blow fone, dey blow fone

Another contributor come talk say "one thing dey "TENABLE"

Na im my fone speaking counterpart ask say wetin "Tenable" mean.

I was in shock i tell you. So upon all the fone she no sabi tenable ..... loud hiss

Meanwhile my tummy's in bad shape as usual...

I've been in the loo more times than at my desk today

All the little weight left after my rigorous exercise of the past few weeks go finish today at this rate LOL

My new Oga sits right next to me so i'm "condenmed" to a life of always forming busy in the office and as for closing early

Tis now a thing of the past.

Wo make i go find something do

Live in Lagos!!!!

2008-02-19T16:04:00.003+01:00

So there i was peeing in some loo at some random place

when i peeked at the floor

And there lay this packer quite old and obviously well used

It was "shared" at a wedding party and had some wordings or rather a sticker on it

On closer observation of this famous sticker, i almost got a heart attack

It read " Biodun weds Nkechinwe;) "

April 10th 2007

Courtesy THE LATE MRS SO AND SO!!!!

Bride's Granny

At this point i'm wondering did the "Late Mrs so and so" send people to shop for the packer from her grave or was it amongst her last wishes that packers should be shared on her behalf at the girl's wedding?????????????

Nothing that these poor eyes of mine haven't seen in this Lago sef.

Ok so Osuofia is back to her country :D

2008-02-18T16:25:00.004+01:00

So i arrive back in Naija amidst plenty drama and vowing never to fly economy class or better still Emirates again....

Kai my journey back was most traumatic ,all sorts happened to me.

I left home quite happy that for the "first time i didn't have any excess baggage". I mean i weighed the bags by lifting them up and as far as i could lift them up it must weigh only 20kg each.... LOL

Imagine my shock when i reached the counter and the lady said my two bags were like 54kg. i almost fainted. meanwhile hand luggage sef reach 11kg.

Anyway i went and repacked the bags( i don't know why i felt that would work) held some stuff in my hands and went to send the bags in...

To cut the story short, bags were sent in at a total of like 47kg.

Next problem was now what to do with the hand luggage, sha i went to board plane oh, couldn't even do any duty free shopping because i had spent so much time, packing and repacking my bags.

I collect my boarding pass and the lady says there's a note on her computer which says i ain't allowed any hand luggage and in fact she's taking me to her supervisor....

Na joke i think she dey joke , until she grabbed my arm and marched me to supervisor...

No be small oyinbo the man speak to me oh... LOL

At the end of his speech he said i could either pay fifty pounds(which i was not ready to do) or leave the bag

So yours truly ended up in the toilet oh...

Tossed out the things i could, wore like five tops and held the rest of the stuff in my arms, this kain u needed to have seen how i looked, holding chocolates, sweater, "coat" and two glass vases etc into the plane.

I was most embarassed i tell you!!!!!!!!!!!

Painful part was the supervisor came and sneered while telling me "oh so now you've got all your clothes on"

Then i had to leave my "beloved" suitcase behind. A whole five pounds thrown down the drain...

I looked a sight getting onto that flight...

Right now i'm taking a crash course in packing luggage and looking like those correct babes that have designer suitcases(yeah afro not boxes :) and small hand luggage and look so fabulous:)

Tips anyone????????

This abroad life sha....

2008-01-30T19:17:00.000+01:00

As i'm wont to do most times, i observe my surroundings with astute intrigue and a bit of mischief....

I see all sorts and i never cease to be amazed

It's the reason why today as i stepped onto a Zebra crossing i marvelled at oyinbo people once again...

I mean they didn't even need a police man to tell them to stop for me to cross when they did

In my dear Naija, many a pedestrian would have been confined to a wheel chair or maybe even dead when "wicked" and sometimes even stupid Naija motorists would refuse to pause so people can cross!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as i tried to get off the ferry later on, i saw that even oyinbo get some stupid peculiarities too!!! i cannot understand why they all scramble for the door of the ship before the thing comes to a halt.

Today na only me siddon oh, so tey i come begin wonder whether we don reach our destination. of course in my bid to "join the crowd" na so i nearly nack teeth for ground :D LOL

I have shed so much weight since i got here, na so so to dey waka we just dey for this place. I mean no okadas or cabs to call. And times without number my silly friend (who happily is in Naija now ;) makes me run after buses and trains....

All that compulsory exercise it's amazing how anyone in this town has fat on their body i tell you....

Getting lost is another favourite of mine.

Every trip i make to "the abroad" comprises of at least five incidents of getting lost.

The last time it happened, i entered lift from one place to another, rigmarouled for over 2 hours, couldn't reach my friend on phone!!!!

Thankfully gbomogbomo no dey here, i for don be their victim (God forbid)

My random musings for the day

"Cheers mate "