Submissivenesss or just plain old.....

..... Stupidity?

My mum's tenant has just moved out. While they lived there, the relationship was seemingly cordial. At least there were no apparent glitches, in fact the family(excluding husband though) regularly had meals in our house! I could enumerate several other ways in which they benefited from  the relationship- help to pick their children from school, assistance in running errands and so on. Then they came with good news!  They had just completed their building project.

Suddenly the reason their rent was at several different times paid in bits made sense. They were investing in their project  and delaying rent etc etc. No wahala they are sha leaving abi?

Few days after they moved i strolled in to assess the place and see what needs to be repaired or upgraded etc etc. What i saw was quite embarrassing and most disgusting. The place was filled with filth that  i couldn't imagine that these people could/would/should have been living with. it was like an incinerator- no joke.

In my fury i called the Mrs. Luckily she didn't pick my call, i arranged for the place to be cleaned up and that took 3 days. Imagine the pile.

Did i add that their outstanding  NEPA bill(unpaid) was in excess of N20,000? When my called the husband, he sent someone with the cash, meaning my mum should sojourn to NEPA office herself, sort the bills and re-connection matters abi?

At this point i knew i had to speak up about the issue so i did.

Got the Mrs on phone and told her i was displeased about the mess as well as the nepa issue. Especially as the man wasnt decent enough to come and resolve it himself. Her next words completely left me speechless.

She said it wasnt "her fault". That because she's pregnant her husband did the bulk of moving the items and she claimed she had arranged for some fellow to come and clean up alongside her husband who said he wanted to search through the pile in case there is any important item dropped in the rubble. But they returned the key and said goodbye????????????????

In  addition she said she mentioned to her husband that even though he didnt relate much with my mum, she and the children did so  and as such he should ensure the place is tidied and nepa bills sorted but the man didn't listen and she didnt want to seem "un-submissive" or like she was challenging his authority.

I find this plain stupid!!!

Are we to let our husbands be foolish or act irrationally because we are being submissive?

If she didn't agree on his stance as regards clean up could she not have made arrangements even if without his consent? Seeing as that is the right thing!!!!!!

i hope i get people's perspectives on this subject and perhaps examples. But for me i would chose doing the right thing over submissiveness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!