Not sure what to title this one!!!

So Easter was fun...

I spent the whole time in Abuja which was quite refreshing, i had missed my girlfriend whom i spent the time with. And Abuja just has a way of making you feel like you're in another country. I mean not once did i sit in traffic and i entered cabs for N200!!!!! in Lag you spend almost twice that amount to get to the end of your own street, no matter how short.

Went to quite a few nice spots though the social scene there is not as busy as it is in Lag for some strange reason!! I mean the bowling alley was practically empty(as far as i'm concerned) on Saturday nite. But in all i had a good time

Anyway, me i'm seriously thinking of relocating to that Abuja right now!!!! Tis so peaceful there...

Tried not to think of my ex which was quite difficult(honestly) but at least i survived not calling him except when he called. And i realised further that truly we had reached the end of the road!!!

Right now i'm trying to sort my money matters, determine my "latte factor" and generally refocus on my spending priorities. I've realised that planning money and spending really really helps sha and there'd be less gbese at the end of the month!!!

I'm also trying to work on my weight and all "my now famous emotional trauma" has helped me shed quite a bit of flesh. Bought plenty veggies and fruits and for 2 days straight i've been eating quite "healthy". Ate so much salad last night that i started to feel like a goat:) but hey this morning, my jeans are hanging from my butt. so it was worth it after all????????

It's all good sha. This 2007 is the year of my (positive) change!!!! (Amen)

Meanwhile my doggie has become so unruly i do not know what to do again!!! Heard some odd noise 2 nights back and ran out thinking an infiltrator was trying to get into the house or something, and there was the "monkey" ON TOP of his cage trying to upturn the dustbin... that had been placed on top of his cage so he wouldn't go into it!!!! I was quite perplexed to say the least. Couldn't even figure out how he got to the TOP OF HIS CAGE anyway!!!!

This break up no easy oh!!!

The past few hours, days and weeks haven't been easy.

I haven't been single in many years and i'm just finding it so hard to adjust because i had weaved my self around this brother!!!

Tis so painful that after all these years i'm just seeing a different side of someone whom i loved and maybe even still have feelings for!!!

Tis also deeply saddening all the nasty things that he had said and even done to facilitate this break up...

I mean we were going to get married, even despite all the obstacles, i was going to actually go through with it.

It's just painful that we now relate as strangers!!!

Is this how love sometimes turns out????????

I probably sound like a broken record with my constant attempts at piecing things back together but hey the gal is quite lonely these days!!

Wish it were so easy "to dust myself up and try again" like Aaliyah(abi na who sing that song again? :)

I will try sha and i'm never going to let a man do this to me again. Once i can get past this phase that is!

So tis a new month....

And i have decided that i will be more hardworking at work... I will put in maximum efforts. Whether or whether not it is recognised now. I will still put in my best, after all " Ise ni oogun Ise"

In fact I'm going to write that poem and stick on my table;)

I will also exercise some more, i went jogging on Saturday and even though the doggie ran off and i had to chase him for a bit (which was annoying), i will not be discouraged as the overall results will mean that i will shed some small weight and look more beaurriful.

This month i will also take it easy on myself especially since i have realised that not having a bobo is not the end of the world and there are many other things i can do to add value to my life asides "man following"

I have also decided that after my "lunatic" behaviour of this last weekend, i will NEVER make a fool of myself (consiously) because of a man ever again.

I will spend plenty of time pampering myself and looking more beautiful. I will "do" my nails weekly and i will fix a beautiful weave on my hair for the month.

I will spend more time praying and worshipping my saviour.

I now know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" i can therefore achieve some of my goals... Fear and discouragement will not slow me down anymore!!!

I will update this list as time goes on

This wahala is just plenty!!!!

So on Monday i shed 10kg(i strongly believe that anyway)....

Story is we had a road show at work and i went along... It was fun but at some point i got so exhausted i sat quietly in the bus and was sipping an energy drink :).... But we walked quite a distance sha and i got my weekly exercise!!! Since i wasn't able to go jogging last Saturday because of the early morning rain!!!

My ex almost drove me mad 2 nights ago. I really don't know why i still speak to him. He can be so so exasperating!! I'm just tired of talking to/about him. He drove me so mad i told him i was about to pop pills and kill myself so he'd be happy and just leave me alone... Then i remembered that Naija girls don't do such and i turned over and slept!!!!

I haven't spoken to him since and that's quite a huge step for me because we talk 50 times in one day even after break up oh....

I just hope i can keep that up because the boy wan drive me mad...

My week has been so dry, maybe because i'm kinda depressed. I think i'm lonely.

Yesterday after work i got stuck in traffic. I mean i was in my motor car for almost an hour and i was still on the street of my office, so quietly i drove into one nail salon i used to patronise to pass the time until traffic reduced...

After sitting down for a few minutes, i remembered why i stopped manicuring my nails, she had barely started when i felt a searing pain rip through my brain!!! She had lacerated my small finger and there was blood everywhere. First consolation was that the cuticle trimmer was mine so there was minimal risk of infection.Next was the yelp that came from my mouth.... The woman nearly made me shed tears, i just thought to myself if not for this stupid Lagos traffic wat would i be doing in a nail salon???????????

You can imagine the agony i was and i'm still in sef, because my finger is still aching!!!!!

My frustration was increased, i mean u have a hard day at work, then get into traffic and to escape that you branch salon only for you to nearly lose your finger in the process....

Annoying thing is that i only wanted to change my polish and not manicure/pedicure!!!!

Hope the week gets better!!!!

Why am i not working?

I just figured i may as well make the "best" use of the time and thus here i am.....

For some reason over the past few days, weeks and months i have not done any serious work. I can't explain why i've lost all motivation to work and it seems to be getting to the point of stagnancy and despondency so i've decided to address the issues.

I know it started with some small office politics that sidelined me from getting a raise but heck it has been over a year and i'm still not getting a grip!!!

Now i've tried to inject fire back into my work but the work just "bores" me to death.....

These days all i do is read people's blogs!!!! Even first thing on a Monday i'm reading blogs and chatting and then i end up doing that all week long!!!

For some reason my conscience is now catching up and i'm feeling bad but i just DO NOT know how to get back into the work mode!!!

I've become so so lazy and lackadasical(hope that's the spelling sef)

And it's bad.....

I want a vacation as well, maybe it'd help!!!!

This love of a matter!!!

I have been wanting to write about my lovely weekend but all week i've been tormented by something and i really am just at a loss as to what to do.

God help me....

All of a sudden "he's" been sending me text messages, now that in itself isn't bad but the content of the texts are so powerful... Here are the ones i got yesterday

In the morning it was :

"Unable to sleep for so long thinking about us and how we should be. I love you with all of my heart. I see you and still my heart skips. There is so much i wish for but most of all i wish that where ever life takes me it will always bring me back to u. Cuz u have always been all i ever wanted. I love u Fluffy cute thing".

Then at night he said

"Baby i miss you so much. I just wanted to say you mean the whole world to me and spending the rest of my life with you is all i pray for.Always Ur No. 1 fan"

Now this morning he says:

"Hi girl hope u had a good night?getting set for work and cant get u out of my head. Totally in love wit u. Always Ur No 1 fan"

There's nothing wrong with the texts actually it's just that they're coming from some old toaster/ex bobo(yeah i know.... there have been one too many these past few weeks) and i'm wondering what all this is about?????????????

The thing is the young man in question works in my office and we started off as friends. i had a bobo at the time and he had someone. unknown to me though, he had nursed "these feelings" for me all the while!!!

When i got single i attempted to date him,more of which to make him happy really. But that didn't quite work, i felt his attraction for me was mostly sexual....

We had a rough patch after the relationship ended where we were barely even speaking to each other and stuff. And then i told him that i didn't think we had to be childish and stuff. At least we could be civil to each other especially in public!!!!

My challenges with this guy are many. He likes to "form ajebota/asso" which i cannot manage and he's so insensitive sometimes. I mean i was attacked by armed robbers, which he knew about but he just didn't show any sympathy!!! I didn't expect him to replace my lost bag and jewellery but at least he could have mentioned it or said sorry!!!!! Then i had a car crash and he didn't even ask how i was faring and stuff!!! I mean how else do you show you care for someone????????? Is it not by being there during "times of need?"

Lately he'd been sending me texts about how he wanted to "do" this to my body or "that" to my "PP".... it was quite embarassing and i had to tell him i felt he was only attracted to my body and i didn't appreciate it. Hence the series of texts above....

Frankly i'm tired and i need to communicate this to the young man, but i don't know how to do it gently....

I mean i'm looking for a HUSBAND not a boyfriend/bed mate!!!!

Fluffy Fire!!!!!

This weekend was quite some thing....

My "socialiteness" took quite an interesting turn.

On Friday, i spent the whole evening at the salon getting my hair done, luckily it turned out nice so i didn't mind the long hours i spent there.

Saturday i attended a 70th birthday party which was fun,lots to eat and drink and loads of nice people to gaze at and stuff....

Anyway about midday another old toaster calls me up to ask if i'm free in the evening... Because he's kinda cute i quickly dissolve my prior plans and agree to meet him up.

Watched "the Last King of Scotland" at the cinema with another "ex- flame"(can't think of what else to call him) :-)

Then i head off to Lekki to meet up with "cute n sexy". So we're at his cousin's crib, and then they say we're heading out. So it's moi, cutie, his cousins n a chic about to hit the streets.

We head off to some place in Lekki and to my suprise tis a strip club...

Now i'm so so suprised cause i didn't think we had such in Naija.

Anyway i was amused the whole time we were there, the chicks were mostly yellow. And one who seemed to "be all over me" even said she was in school,told me how much she was paid

These chicks will actually go NAKED.....

I couldn't believe my eyes.....

Sad thing though is that they were not "tight" chicks per se and after an hour i was bored. They said their star perfomers were not around...

Whatever!!!!

We left and moved onto another joint which was packed full of Unilag boys and gals, i was quite embarrassed to be there after a while... Jumping with people my "small' brother's age (lol)

Anyway it was quite an interesting nite and i had a good time.....