Thursday, 9 July 2015

Sweating it out for your beloved.....

My post is inspired by the fact that i had to sweat over a pot of amala for my beloved on Sunday

*sighs*

I have begun to ponder on whether a man's assertiveness on his Africanism* is directly or indirectly related to his socio-economic power or otherwise.

I will explain further!

Sometimes i see glamorous pictures of  weddings with pretty brides and equally handsome grooms on bellanaija.com and the likes.Many of these weddings are also of people i like to describe as rich some noveau rich(whatever that means lol)... Anyway sometimes when i see how pepperless* these brides look i sometimes wonder and ask myself if their husbands expect them to turn amala or semo or wheat or pound yam for them.

After all it is widely believed and said that African men including their  Nigerian counterparts  like their spouses to sweat it out in the kitchen for them!

I was chatting with a rich* male friend of mine and somewhere in the gist, he mentioned having a cook. He didn't seem to mind that someone else was making his meals. whereas on forums like facebook and nairaland you hear the men* going on and on about how their wives must make and serve their meals and the women too go on and on about how no maid(cook) can cook or serve their husbands etc etc .... Could this be because they cannot currently afford a cook?

I find wealthier men generally more tolerant of modern ways of living in marriage e.g some can fix their meals themselves, perhaps care*(change diapers, feed with bottles etc ) for their little ones should the need arise and there is no domestic help around to do it than their counterparts with not as much economic power....

And now i'm wondering is it the level of wealth of a Nigerian/African man that makes them more accepting of all the modern ways of doing stuff?

Or is it not???????

Some food for thought!

XOXO


Tuesday, 9 June 2015

New Post

If only i could blog immediately i get inspired for a new post.... then i wont have to be cracking my head on what to write about.... *sighs*

The support staff in my office are driving me nuts. I wish my oga wasn't such a cheap skate at least one would be able to employ semi-professionals for these odd jobs mcheeeewww The nitwits can make one's hair stand.


These days i feel a bit lonely. Mid last year one or two of the friends i valued deeply had started to behave in really odd ways. It made me cut back a bit on relating with them and vice versa. I have searched my conscience and i'm clear that i havent done wrong.. it's just a drifting apart. Doesn't make the loneliness easier anyway....

The boys are fine. Still as mischievous :D  Looked at no 1 this morning and was surprised at how much he and indeed No 2 have grown up! if only they would stop sleeping in my bed *sighs* 

Today wasn't so exciting at work. Not much happened... just work work and more work

So much on the mind and i don't even know how to frame the words!

Still on the transformation path.. It's a slow transformation of my living arrangement but it's happening nonetheless. The battle of the bulge seems not to be happening as at now. My weight has skyrocketed and i just feel out of sorts on the subject. I wanna adopt a complete wholesome lifestyle change and i'm still hoping this year i will get on the track somehow. It's a mind over matter really... Fingers crossed on the subject.

I still find myself at cross roads on some issues though and sometimes i really wonder whether i'm going or i'm coming!

New Age meme!!!!!!

I turn 35 in a few weeks and i'm suddenly filled with trepidation at the thought *sighs*

Friday, 13 March 2015

Culture vs Common Sense

I realized today that the office assistant in my organisation has still not buried his mother.

She passed away after an illness in June 2014. Their culture I understand states that there must be some ceremonies (i.e. party,as far as i am concerned) as part of the funeral rites. So, to give some time for her children/other family members to raise funds the funeral was scheduled for December 2014.

It didn’t make any sense to me. I felt and still feel they should have buried the woman and have the party or parties or funeral rites whenever they can. But I don’t think any of them quite explored that option.

Unfortunately tragedy struck as they were headed for his mum’s burial in December. His sister unexpectedly  passed away. All the funds raised immediately had to be diverted to transporting her remains home and towards her own funeral.

I remembered this whole thing yesterday and it occurred to me his mum is still in the morgue. Didn't any of their family members just see that in the light of this tragedy both should have been buried and they can have the funeral rites for the mother whenever they’re able to?

Again this family isn't  high up on the income  ladder! 

From my interactions with the gentleman it seems they feel constrained by extended family members and the dictates of their culture. But surely their common sense should count for something now? Abi?

Monday, 23 February 2015

These Monday meetings sef !

Sometimes i feel like i work in a government agency kai....

When i first joined this organisation, i watched with amusement as one particular HOD would call for meetings with his team daily to discuss the most random subjects. Eventually the fellow was sacked because it was discovered his output wasn't that much after all. While i'm not gloating i have always felt it was a waste of time to have physical gatherings on every official subject.

I mean this guy once called a meeting with his staff to discuss the fact that he had asked one of his team members to review a document i was working on. I didn't have the luxury of time for his extensive and unnecessarily long/bogus review of the document and sent it off to the customer who was expecting it. It was a generic document i just had to edit it and make minor changes. As such he called a meeting to discuss that.....

Imagine the sheer waste of time that could have been better used, even if just viewing Bella Naija LOL

Anyway since the fellow left the meetings have kinda reduced or rather sometimes take a less formal outlook. My MD would set up a committee to decide whether or not to buy laptops for staff. We would have several discussions just on a random subject which can be resolved via mail in my opinion....

Today like most Mondays we are in management meeting which could span the whole day!!!!! I get tired honestly.

The part that wears me out is when my boss starts asking one committee or the other to address certain issues this is a Management team of less than 15. Half the said committees constitute the same human beings who are in this Management team oh.

Now we want to make a decision and someone here is asking a committee to meet and revert with thier findings. Of course that delays the decision by another few days...

I wonder if anyone else is enjoying these meetings in thier own office?!

A friend of mine who also has many meetings like this at least gets doughnuts with the coffee and/or tea being served

*sighs*

Friday, 13 February 2015

Update!!!!

I didn't realise i had stayed away for so long...

Life and it's many ups and downs...

The year has been a myriad of many events so far. I finally started on the "starting over" meme.  I've stopped worrying over why some of my friends have moved on for eg. Even i have now moved on :D

I have also got the house re-painted. Didn't quite get the colours i had initially hoped to do, but the place is sha painted and its much nicer to the eyes. It's such a relief, cant believe i allowed my living conditions to deteriorate so badly... This weekend i'd start up on accessories and just generally making it neater.

Some pictures should be available soon *winks*

I'm also beginning to consider following better routines/schedules/structures for the children. I have left living life properly for too long. Better late than never i suppose.

Some sad news popped up earlier this week, a dear friend of mine was widowed. Quite shocking and unexpected. Poor girl has had quite her fair share of tragedy in this life. God have mercy on us. I guess these are some of the issues that come with being adults. Her toddler is quite oblivious to what's going on and it makes me even more sorry for her.

Didn't sleep well, this nepa people are really taking the piss..... africa is a hot place abeg!

Just rambling.....

Have a lovely weekend everyone ;)

Friday, 9 January 2015

Starting over ;)

A new year always provides an avenue to start over on many fronts!! So help me Lord

I think i generally need to be more organised. For one my car needs to stop being a dump site :D

And i wanna just generally do a few things differently. I will post on these adjustments/enhancements as i go along ;)

XOXO

Moi ;)