Wednesday, 30 May 2007

So.....

I really enjoyed this last long weekend, got 2 free unexpected public holidays and i got my much needed rest...


Looked at the resolutions/goals i set for myself at the beginning of this year and i realised i hadn't quite hit the target on them...


Been so so distracted by many things that aren't quite as important and i'm falling into the same trap i've fallen into over the many past years of my adult hood, you know where i lose focus and generally just allow the year(s) pass me by!!!

I need to buckle up truly....

Wish i could find motivation and determination and will power from within

One thing i have kinda achieved this year though is further appreciating my individuality!!

I'm understanding myself more now and appreciating my uniqueness.

I'm learning that truly i'm not accountable to anyone but God and myself...

I now find happiness for myself and i'm not totally dependent on others to make me happy.

I'm also drawing up a list of my positive attributes which will boost my self confidence and esteem.

It has not been an easy path but i'm working towards dropping all my flaws especially >>>>

God will help me!!!

The path to becoming "perfect" really has many mountains and rivers to cross....



Friday, 18 May 2007

I've had it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know dealing with people can just be so so difficult and annoying.

Can you imagine this my friend...

She asked me to submit a form for her in our office aeons ago, which i did!!!

And then yesterday she sends me a rude text asking if i submitted the form. For some reason i was very calm and went the extra mile of checking the office log book, just to ascertain that i submitted the form. Of course I did.

Called her and told her this and in fact told her where exactly to continue her enquiries from.

Then i returned her missed calls this morning,only for her to be snapping and asking me where i submitted the forms that she had checked the log book and didn't see it bla bla bla.

I lost it then, raised my voice and asked her why she was yelling at me. Then she said oh she was stressed yak yak yak.

Now my point is, over the years i have learnt to accord my 'friends' so much respect especially when i'm stressed or upset that i refrain from lashing at out at them and as such i wonder why in blazes that cannot be recipocated.

i mean do i look stupid, slow or what????????

Is this what being nice to people always results in? RUDENESS!!!!!

I mean i'm so ticked off right now.

Because of the risk of being tagged insensitive to her situation(this is after she don make me feel like mumu oh), i further sent her a mail directing her appropriately and even called her up to make sure she got the mail. And she has the impudence to be sounding cold to me

Just imagine this crappy crap!!!!

I really need to begin to nip all this crappy crap that people dish out to me truly.

Cannot understand why people just like to behave anyhow to people... so annoying!!!!

Still fuming here

Monday, 14 May 2007

Crazy Weekend

Ok so this weekend was woweeee:)

Went off on a strategy retreat and we were lodged at some five star hotel.

The session itself was absolutely dry but hey na so "official matter dey be sometimes";)

Anyways i've got this young man from work who's been calling me plenty over the past few weeks. So far he's been quite interesting to talk to!

So last Friday we had planned to hook up after the training. Unfortunately though by 10pm i was so knackered i told him we should reschedule.

He still decided to come and hang out though.... When he came i was in my pyjamas and really couldn't be bothered to change... we gisted plenty which was fun and eventually moved to the little balcony in the room to enjoy the scenery and stuff...

It was such a romantic night, us just gisting under the stars, every where quiet, music blaring from the not too far off Kuramo beach and then....

He grabbed me and kissed and kissed and kissssedd my brains out!!

It was wonderful honestly...

We then moved back to the room and he just held me all nite. He was such a gentleman didn't even push to have sex or anything...

Early in the morning, i woke him up and sent him off. We didn't want the whole office aware of our newly found "whatever(i don't know what to call it)"

I've been so excited since then...

We've hung out like twice since then and all we do is kiss like 2 silly teenagers(lol)

However now i'm floating back to reality now and wondering what in blazes i'm doing!!!...

Yesterday he gave me a ride home and i had half my colleagues beeping me to ask me what i was doing in his car and then he also mentioned that it didn't seem a good idea to make "US" public at this time.

I felt quite akward about that even though i know really i'm not up for the gossip that follows office gossip.

As at today i don't even know what to think of this matter...

At some point i felt that maybe i was trying to get over by ex by delving into this thing.

Just hope i don't get stung by this whole brouhaha!!!

Me and my many man matters!!!!

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Am I a gossip(er)?

Been wondering over the past few weeks about this!!!

I've got this friend who has some many issues regarding her man and finances. It's been running for a long while and quite frankly i've been innundated and overwhelmed by the issues. Moreso she doesn't always take my advise so i've been forced to sit down, listen and say or do nothing.

Because i've got quite a "good heart" (truly my heart is kind) the issues really bother me and i find myself thinking about it over and over and over again. Sometimes that's all that's on my mind all day long!!!

We're quite close and tend to be together a lot of the times and these days i find myself telling my other friends about some of her issues in a bid to relieve some of my tension and because sometimes i'm so carried away with gists that i use her as examples and stuff like that.

Was telling someone, that i had mentioned it to another of our friends recently, when he said "That's not fair or nice. You shouldn't tell other people about her issues. Tis not their business"!!

Upon a mental count i must've told like 12 people about her challenges and right now i'm feeling so rotten and deceptive and unhappy. Especially because i know i have been unfair and put in the same shoes i won't be happy to know my friend whom i've confided in has "spread" my gist!!!

I feel quite saddened by it and wish i could undo my wrong!!

So now i'm thinking does this make me a gossip????????At what point does gist about/ referring to friends and family members experiences in d course of gist become gossip??

God help me with these my many complexities!!!

So I'm back with renewed energy!!!!!

Took time off work and everything else and took a short trip to the UK and Dubai(even though i've lied to everyone that i've been in abuja(lol) for my long awaited and much needed time out.....

It was fun and i must say i feel quite refreshed and ready to take on the whole world and all it's challenges....

Couldn't do much shopping as the time was really short but i must say i had quite a lovely and refreshing time... The change of scenery was much needed i guess.

Also came back with several new strategies to make money this year....

I've started writing them down. With God on my side things will work out just fine.

I'm seriously thinking of relocating.This Lagos has become quite stale and boring to me. "Where to", is giving me a bit of a challenge. When i went to Abuja i felt quite drawn to the place and i contemplated looking for a job there and settling there.

But now i'm thinking of going back to school for my masters and of course jand/yankee are looking like ideal options!! The main challenge is i'm wondering how to just pack up my "life' and check out... I've never been out of my comfort zone (physically i mean) except when i went for NYSC up north, and i'm wondering if i can cope!!! Anyway time will tell as things unfold.

I'm quite decked up today, wearing new baffs from head to toe and looking quite hot. I even had my hair and nails done. I feel so so cool with myself. Part of my new improvement scheme is to be decked up frpm head to toe at all times!!! So far so good.

Diet is coming up nicely too, haven't reduced further but at least i haven't added any new weight.Will do some vegetable shopping today so i can resume my healthy eating once more..
I will also give my car it's long over due wash in and out TODAY!!!!

Work is moving quite slowly today though,maybe cos i haven't got my computer and i'm only borrowing this one for today, so far all i've done is empty my mail box and blog. Impressive huh?

picking up the pieces 1

Picking up the pieces It may not completely make sense but I want to document this phase I passed through Sometimes life decides to hand...