Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Mind over matter???

Life does change when you're a mum.
We went for a birthday party today and I actually got up to try and get party packs for my boys. infant when Tlash didn't get a particular gift he wanted I actually went to ask the hostess if she had a spare. I'd never have imagined that I would do such. Mcheeewwww
The title of my post is called mind over matter and its been long over due if you ask me.i once read an article in Genevieve magazine with that title. The lady writer was the girlfriend ie mistress of a married man and she says one of the secrets of her successful relationship with him was this mind over matter principle. The morality of her/the relationship will be discussed in another forum or post. The said principle is the bone of contention here.
The way it works is "as the female in the/any relationship" one must chose which issues to battle out. So for example where her man doesn't come visiting as scheduled she usually pretends it doesn't matter and she won't make a fuss or quarrel when he shows up. She says this earned her loads of respect, peace and perhaps some level of bliss in her relationship.
Now anyone knows that being in a serious relationship/marriage can be extremely harrowing where and when expectations aren't constantly being met. So I'm wondering to which matters exactly does one decide to apply mind over matter to?
Living with a man has shown and taught me that any and everything could be potential crisis triggers and indeed there are MANY matters to constantly deal with.
I for example detest lingering repairs. Especially when affordability isn't the issue. My spouse on the other hand stayed in a room without a bulb for close to a year because he couldn't be bothered to change the burnt/dead bulb. I chose mind over matter that period and didn't say a word about it and at his chosen time which was a year plus (or thereabouts) he changed the bulb. He feels certain things are more important to him than changing bulbs or ensuring the house is in some order of sorts. When I take charge of those kind of matters he is of course quick to enjoy the benefits. In my head, repairs for eg belong to the menfolk. But for the sake of peace do I "'mind over matter?"
For a wife who's spouse comes home late More often than not, all in the guise of work, should she for eg imbibe this mind over matter principle? Even when she's genuinely concerned about his safety or worried that God forbid he's spending time with a unilag gal or his colleague who's younger,perhaps prettier and supposedly generally hawter than she is?
money matters nko? If your hubby is a stingikoko do you just adjust your life accordingly or do you hassle his ass until he comes to term with the current economic realities of our country?
of course the less vocal and more accepting wives are usually praised as good stock and virtuous women. These are perhaps the real mind over matter women who leave it all in the hands of fate.
What am I writing sef, wonder if it makes any sense, make I sha dey type dey go.
The lady in the original article encouraged wives to imbibe this modus operandi but you see it was easier for her to perhaps stomach the man's nonsense because they're together for "short" periods anyway. And all men have varying degrees of nonsense and I'm sure i'll have a few supporters in saying that in the face of constant issues in any relationship especially marriage mind over matter while a good tool isn't one so easy to adopt.
My two cents!

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