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Showing posts from February, 2008

Afro says they come in threes....

Just sitting here musing over one of my most mortifying moments which occured two weeks ago



I've got this small cousin...



We're pretty "close"



She looks up to me as her older sis(she hasn't got any biological ones you see)



BACKGROUND



My then boyfriend and i were just "rabbits" we would get at it any and every where



So for both our good(s) we decide to keep a pack of rubbers at my place...



I hid it far far away, infact it was in the same envelope i kept my mints which were for spraying at every owambe i went that period.



THE 1st INCIDENT



So my other cousin is getting married and i'm running late as usual. LOL



So i grab the envelope, rubbers n all and rush off to the church



I think i manage to make the joining or something.



At some point we need to drop money in the collection bowl



so i turn to my small cousin and ask her to open my purse and get money from the envelope.

All this time i had totally forgotten the contraband in the envelope.

You can just imagine my …

Randoms

Seems the last time i went to a wedding was aeons ago



Can't remember anyone bringing me aso ebi in the past few months



Could it be that all my friends are now ALL married?????????



This issue of giving children oyinbo names sha



Some relation of mine named her third son ROCK



I've just heard and i still can't get over it i tell you



ROCK as how?????????



Infact that was the exact question i asked the bearer of the "news".



Maybe it's better than the names of the baby's older brothers who are "Bundle of Joy" and "Champion"



Loud Hiss



I'm as bored as hell today, came out of a long meeting which further heightened my boredom



People just like to speak many oyinbo sha



One chick in the meeting just dey blow fone, dey blow fone



Another contributor come talk say "one thing dey "TENABLE"



Na im my fone speaking counterpart ask say wetin "Tenable" mean.



I was in shock i tell you. So upon all the fone she no sabi tenable ..... loud hiss

Live in Lagos!!!!

So there i was peeing in some loo at some random place

when i peeked at the floor

And there lay this packer quite old and obviously well used


It was "shared" at a wedding party and had some wordings or rather a sticker on it

On closer observation of this famous sticker, i almost got a heart attack

It read " Biodun weds Nkechinwe;) "

April 10th 2007

Courtesy THE LATE MRS SO AND SO!!!!

Bride's Granny

At this point i'm wondering did the "Late Mrs so and so" send people to shop for the packer from her grave or was it amongst her last wishes that packers should be shared on her behalf at the girl's wedding?????????????

Nothing that these poor eyes of mine haven't seen in this Lago sef.

Ok so Osuofia is back to her country :D

So i arrive back in Naija amidst plenty drama and vowing never to fly economy class or better still Emirates again....



Kai my journey back was most traumatic ,all sorts happened to me.



I left home quite happy that for the "first time i didn't have any excess baggage". I mean i weighed the bags by lifting them up and as far as i could lift them up it must weigh only 20kg each.... LOL



Imagine my shock when i reached the counter and the lady said my two bags were like 54kg. i almost fainted. meanwhile hand luggage sef reach 11kg.



Anyway i went and repacked the bags( i don't know why i felt that would work) held some stuff in my hands and went to send the bags in...


To cut the story short, bags were sent in at a total of like 47kg.



Next problem was now what to do with the hand luggage, sha i went to board plane oh, couldn't even do any duty free shopping because i had spent so much time, packing and repacking my bags.



I collect my boarding pass and the lady says there'…