Wednesday, 12 December 2007
I'm just going to do a random of titbits of stuff that have happened to me in the past few days
Today i was thinking about my ex while driving and as it usually happens in movies
I look in my rear mirror
and Lo he appeared
I thought i was seeing double and looked again and truly it was him
So i slowed down hoping he would catch up with me
Just wanted him to see me, we haven't talked or seen each other in aeons
I suspect there was a chick in his car
because he slowed down and started to drag like a snail and seemed to be trying to not to catch up with me
I sped off, good riddance to bad rubbish
Then i became moody and i'm still moody
Too many unpleasant scenes from the past just hovering around my head
Now i'm reliving some scenes from my last training where one guy was making a presentation and talked about sending "XMX" wasn't sure and had a puzzled look until he repeated it and specifically said you send "XMX" from your phone LOL
I almost burst into laughter, maybe he was better than the lady who said "she was supposed to be on glasses"
Or the 2 guys who were reading the slides and came to FAQs- one said Frequently asking questions and the other said Frequently Answered Questions
Orisirisi and these people are graduates.
Now i'm missing my puppy (sorry dog, he has grown up now) and thinking how cute he looks when he lies across the gate all night like the guard dog he's supposed to be :D
Also planning my vacation in one corner of my brain and imagining how i will terrorise my "best" friend while i am in "the abroad"....
I can't wait!!! a whole month of just living the life.
I'm currently watching a Naija movie (at home that is) started last night, it's about some lady who's a serial killer and in fact, even killed her dad as an eight year old.
Nollywood is getting more creative isn't it?
As usual all the actresses have oyinbo names, valentine, valerie, even Charlotte dey there.
The acting is world class the serial killer uses those tacky knives that they sell at Oshodi and leaves a rose on all her victims.
When i'm done with Part 2 (this is hoping there's no Part 3 oh ;) i'll give my final verdict.
My turn now....
Be right back,
Wish me luck
Not too happy today
Too many issues up and down
Oga usually remembers all those small small errors at this time
The efforts put in for some odd reason escape unnoticed
I am so not excited today
UPDATE: It didn't turn out too badly after all. Not a great score but not a bad one either ;)
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Usually i just cry ;)
Anyway here goes.....
I'm thankful to be alive today, it's a real priviledge not everyone in the world gets it daily!!!
I'm thankful for my family, we quarrel all the time ;) But i won't trade them for silver or gold
I'm thankful for my two bestest friends in the whole wide world !!! i've met many people but you two just rock my world. i don't know what i'd do without you both.
I'm thankful for God's mercies, it's the only way i still have a job, clothes on my back, small change in the bank and my car!!! Plus my many other assets;)
I'm thankful for where i've come from and where I am now, it's been a tough road to walk but he saw me through it all
I'm just thankful for the many second chance(s) i've received to start over and set things kinda right.....
I'm thankful for good health, haven't been in a hospital for any illness per se in almost 5 years!!!
I'm just thankful.......
P.S- Can i be thankful for my dog? I'm really thankful for him though
Ok, i tag bubbles and any one else who reads this blog!!!!!!
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Work has been quite crazy
My new boss is a "workaholic/perfectionist"
I have nearly died from all the pressures ;)
Anyway i digress
Over the past month(s) i have tried to lose weight especially around my mid riff aka tummy
It's quite big you see. So much so that i've had people actually ask me if i'm pregnant.
I've tried sit ups with a tummy trimmer and i jog(more like run) for half an hour on Saturdays.
However for some odd reason the arrow on the scale is still pointing upwards or refusing to move from it's current position of 78kg.
I am at a loss as to what to do really....
Some time back i gave one fellow a ride. He's not my friend or anything, heck i don't even know his name.I was just being neigbourly because i had seen his face around the estate.
The silly punk had just after sitting for 3 minutes in the car had the impudence to tell me"shey u know u're getting fat?" to shut him up i said "I know" and he still goes on to say " so aren't u going to do anything about it?" Like it's his business....
I promptly responded no and turned up the radio....
This morning again, i had to stop at my friend's place to drop off some stuff and her younger cousin, doesn't even say good morning he just says " ha u're just growing fatter and fatter"
I was thoroughly embarassed to say the least....
It's a real battle some people say "you're losing weight oh" others happily tell you " Ha you're just looking fatter, or bigger"
Quite discouraging i must tell you.
At a loss as to how to win this battle of the bulge....
I'm desperate to make my tummy smaller again...
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
Got this text from him and i've been in stitches since
" Sister, pls be research for another laundry becs I will be round up my service wit U On 1st of Nov.@ d appointment will terminate henceforth. I will come with my iron on d 1st 4 ironing d remain clothes. Thanks
I'm still so so amused at this text.
Meanwhile na fire on the mountain be this oh, because i cannot iron to save my life LOL
It was just a few lines but the concept has refused to leave my mind...
All day my mind has been processing and re-processing how much "burnt toast" i have consumed over the years, especially as it relates to "man matters"
The way it works basically is this, you try to make a toast or toast bread, and for some reason either because you're distracted or you wander off it gets burnt.
Then you think what the heck and you begin to scrape the top, just so that you don't have to re-start the process of making another toast.
For some slices, you have to scrape and scrape till the entire first layer is off and what you have isn't exactly toast anymore LOL
In some cases you slather on loads of butter, margarine or jam to hide the burnt taste.
You know you're not enjoying the meal, but you sit there anyway and pretend to yourself that the meal couldn't just taste better.
For me, my last 'serious' relationship was full of burnt toast or better still was burnt toast.
The toasting process began quite normally, half way down the line, the bread got burnt and i knew it wasn't worth my while but i said, hey everyone else is eating some version of burnt toast anyway, so i better make do with mine.
I slathered on so much butter and jam that my heart is probably clogged with fat now;) and continued to deceive myself that, that was the best I could get.
I Pretended i didn't/couldn't see the black part of the burnt toast and instead said to myself and even others that the little edges that managed to remain white (-e.g the sex,hmmmm what else now?)were enough to make up for the charred bread i was forcing myself to consume.
Many years down the line, my cup finally got full and i realised that i really couldn't bear the taste of charred/burnt toast anymore.....
I found strength and inspiration from within and a little(ok i lie, a lot) from my friends( you know who you are;) Thanks once again, even though you may never have realised this, I owe you both:) and i kinda moved on
Because i was used to the burnt flavour, i went back to my vomit a couple of times. After rising and falling endlessly, and maybe even getting my fingers burnt severly by the toaster and toast in ways you'd never imagine.....
Finally i got rid of the toast and today i must admit i'm doing better than i initially started out even though i'm not at the mark yet, i have definetely come a long way from the soppy, silly and Lovey dovey chick i used to be .
Moral of the story- Once your toast is changing colour or moving towards being burnt, it's time to get a grip and move on!!!
Never ever settle for the "next best thing"
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
I've got this gentleman in love(or so he says) with me...
I kinda like him too(sometimes at least)
We've shagged in the past, it was more out of to reward him for his "efforts" that i started shagging him.
We couldn't just graduate into something beyond occasional shags
I moved onto another relationship and he did likewise
There's a long pause in our friendship
After many years we start to act civil towards each other and begin to call each other and stuff...
Then he tilts the usual way,
"He wants me" , "he loves me" " he needs me"
All code for let's shag
For some reason, let's say stupidity (for the purpose of this conversation)
I shag him again, knowing fully well that he has a girlfriend
Who he keeps claiming to like but not enough to shag her,
It's me he wants to shag!
He says i should feel lucky, he wants (to put his lean prick inside me- my words) me instead
In the spirit of our friendship developing into "maybe a relationship" ,
Today he called and says he wants to take me on a treat to TINAPA!!!!
I jump with glee, that's so exciting.
Then he says it'll cost about N200,000 and we should fifty the bill.
At this point i'm silent........
Because i'm thinking, while we are in TINAPA , i'd probably be expected to shag this gentleman.
Now does this not mean I am investing more in this trip??????????????
Or is my "lala" supposed to be given up "free of charge"?
Not like i expect to be paid or something, but i assume a gentleman who wants a lady (real bad, i must add) should be willing to impress her and pay his way, if i must add
He made me feel like i was materialistic, and perhaps greedy.
Is this the case?
Am i supposed to fifty bills, with a toaster cum potential boyfriend?????????
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
I stood in front of my closet( sorry afro i meant my wardrobe ;)
and looked at the heap(s) of clothes and tried to decide which of my many shirts/tops/ trousers/skirts etc to wear this morning
i couldn't help but bless God because there was a time when i didn't really have a choice
It was either my blue jeans and a green top or my black trousers and the other top.
I've come a very long way.....
I truly bless the Almighty God.
He's the reason we have and enjoy so many things we think are normal(and maybe even take for granted)
I started off very rough
Looking back now, i've walked a really long road.....
Father, this morning once again, i appreciate your mercies :)
Friday, 19 October 2007
Friday, 5 October 2007
Their stupidity is just "world class"
All my friends cannot understand why or how i manage to sit through them
I call everyone while watching to lament about this or about that ;)
And sadly these movies just ain't improving.
Last night i was watching a "Yoruba" movie and was astonished to see that three of the actors' names' were Linda, Stella and Michael and these are supposed to be Yoruba people oh. It just does not make sense, if they are supposedly selling Nigerian culture why not "native names"?
Some other film i watched ages ago had the star actresses named "Beyonce and Atlanta".For goodness sakes who names their Nigerian children that?????????
But hey i digress :)
The next movie i watched was an "English" movie and so naturally all the actors had "English" names, no i didn't mind at all,after all we need to match up with our contemporaries in Hollywood who bear names like Tracy, Anastasia and Sasha.
By the way i hear our Niger Delta brothers bear names like that anyway and i actually found myself a toaster(sort of anyway) named Romeo. He's from those parts apparently LOL
Imagine my shock when my good friend called me to ask how "Othello" (referring to Romeo) was doing ROFL
Again i digress,
So there i was watching this English Naija movie, that was filled with long unending scenes of trees and cars and people walking, when suddenly they started to play some stupid music ( it's the one they ALWAYS play) and some boys are trying to axe each other i guess it's supposed to be a "Cult hit" scene. Someone taps, note that i said "TAPS"the main actor with a hammer, and he lands in a hospital.
Next thing he's chilling on the hospital bed and his sister(or relation i assume) come weeping in that their MOTHER is dead.
In subsequent scenes people are "greeting" no sorry sympathising with him on the death of his FATHER....
so i think did he lose his mother or father???????????? because i clearly heard the girl say MAMA IS DEAD and i shake my head in agony at Nollywood and wonder why they can't just be a bit more thorough with productions....
The subtitles on most films are pathetic- typos everywhere and the expressions are just terrible.I mean what the freak!!!!
Ok now enough of the ranting, lemme go and watch the next movie on my line up ;)
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Friday, 21 September 2007
Finally got some sleep between 5.30 am thereabout and 6.30am. Rushed to the bath and drove to work. Thankfully there wasn't heavy traffic.
Got here and tummy was still running!!! Endured the pain which further escalated when my new Oga decided to use me as "i'm your Oga" practise today.
There was a little communication mix-up and she went into a frenzy, yelling and yelling and crowned it all by saying "she didn't like people lying". Meaning "this girl u dey lie".
All the while your truly was praying that the poop will not start dripping down because my tummy was swirling, the more she yelled at me. LOL
Thankfully there were no accidents.
The day has just ended and i'm only just getting a breather
It truly has been one of those days and in fact week where all sorts happen to you and many things/tasks just didn't get completed. I have sleep deprivation, it's cold, and in all
I'm just thankful it's Friday!!!!!
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
" Congratulations of the highest order"
Can you just beat that i'm still laughing here LOL
Today has been quite amusing i've thought of all sorts of things to blog about and alas they've all flown outta the window(more like my head)
Maybe it's because......
Monday, 10 September 2007
I looked at the contents of my bag over the last weekend and i was quite "shocked" at the load in it....
They seem many but i'm sure i "need" all of them
I trust that it's the day i lighten it, that i will need something i just removed!!!
Anyway here's the list of what's in my "N15,000 leather bag from Italy" today:
3 notebooks-one is new i'm trying to start using it ;) and hoping to discard one of the old ones
My make up purse
2 sets of keys- Car and room
A novel( trying to develop a reading culture you see) LOL
I just added Hand sanitizer(too many germs everywhere you see LOL)
ID card and pens
So that's the list for today.
Not too much yeah?
Ok, i tag Overwhelmed, Afro babe and everyone else who stops by this page.
Let's see what's in your handbag/luggage LOL
Thursday, 16 August 2007
I'm just so so raving upset right now....
Hissing so loudly, all to no avail here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And to think i've been lounging for most of the afternoon
Monday, 13 August 2007
Friday, 3 August 2007
We were in the same university even though we were not friends
Then fate made us serve(NYSC) in the same town and his house was around the corner from mine
We started talking at the tail end of the year and became "friends"
He kinda indicated interest, in that one night, that he came to see me and it got so late he had to crash in my room and of course attempted to shag me(Naturally)
We didn't do it anyway, and even when I had to crash at his, nothing happene.
Many years later, we met up again and have started talking
He has invited me out a couple of times and says we can always end up at his place if it's too late for me to go home and so that we can catch up on our lives i presume.(He works pretty late most times)
He makes many jokes about marrying me
He's cute and has a steady job. I'm suspect he could make a good boyfriend/partner and maybe even husband!!!
Last week, i was in a training near his house and i asked if i could stay at his to avoid driving from extreme of Lagos to another
He said fine and seemed excited about it
I backed out last minute because i was nervous about what could transpire if i spent a week in his room
I called him last night to apologise for not coming over like i said i would( i had not told him i changed my mind and he had called and smsed(hope that's correct) all week to find out if i was fine and still coming over.
I offered to hook up with him tonight
It probably will be too late to go back home
I'm nervous about sleeping at his
Anxiety has not allowed me get up from here to head out to meet him
My fingers are even twitching
Good luck to me this evening;)
Thursday, 2 August 2007
I've got a friend, we're pretty close.
Over the last year and a half, she's been through immense pressures and challenges in every area of her life
I have been as supportive as i could especially because i was also challenged in some of those of those areas. I looked at my situation and dusted myself, made ammends were necessary and i'm better(definetely) than i was then.
Now because, i "love" my friend, i have provided steady support via a listening ear, actions where necessary and physical presence over and above the fact that i had to neglect family and friends sometimes during this period.....
Despite the fact that she has several annoying habits that i do not like, i have tolerated her excesses all the while gently correcting and giving her tips to get out of the challenges.
Recently, i realised that half my "advice" was not being heeded to and i seemed to be pouring water into a basket. Moreso, i was "taking panadol for another person's headache" because the issues seemed to bother me much more than the person actually involved. In that i would be spurred to action and she would sit around making a mess of things.
So i withdrew, and folded my arms and was watching from the sidelines even though it really hurt to do so. But there was nothing more i could do, i was getting drained from the issues and i don't/didn't think i was really making an impact.
Now i'm even more irritated because last week she had some new issues and needs to make a "drastic decision". I took time out to detail a few pointers/options to help her make plans and decide on her next line of action and days after, all she has had to say to me is that " she wants to buy a new handset!!!!" .Then she also showed me an unreasonably priced pair of slippers that she wanted to buy but it's not her size so she has been forced to return it. This is someone who has deep money issues oh.
I'm so ticked off right now honestly
I just opened my mailbox expecting to at least get some feedback from her on the issues and alas there was none!!!!
I'm so upset,
Lesson learnt - You can only take a horse to the river we can't force it to drink!!!!
So much for trying to help your friends!!!! :(
Friday, 20 July 2007
Toxins, constant issues that half the time make no sense.
You've tried to stay away but no..... it all just keeps coming back
All the constant drama does get boring and it is quite draining you know....
Be Aware of Your Patterns
If you're like most people, you've probably noticed some(certain) patterns in your life.
By "patterns," I mean situations that seem to show up over and over again; the cast of characters may change a bit, but the end results remain the same. In and of themselves, such patterns aren't necessarily good or bad. They can be the source of boundless joy or tremendous frustration, economic abundance or financial struggle.
In fact, it's quite likely that you have both positive and negative patterns in your life right now.
For instance, maybe you've worked for numerous bosses who have been very critical of you. No matter what company you're with, the same result occurs. This is a pattern.If you honestly analyze your life, you will see that you have created (and continue to create!) many patterns-- some that serve you and others that hinder your progress.
At the root of most patterns is a belief system (your expectations about what you can achieve) and your level of self esteem (how you feel about yourself).
For instance, if you don't believe that you are capable of earning more than a certain amount of money, you'll go from one position or career to another and find that in each case, you earn only as much as your expectations will allow.
Similarly, if you have relatively low self esteem, you'll find that in one relationship after another, (both personally and in your career) you will tend to attract people who will constantly put you down.
Let's look at some specific steps you can take to create new patterns that will improve every area of your life:
1. Identify your current patterns.
Take stock of the results you've produced in the following areas: career, finances, health, professional and personal relationships.
Are you steadily advancing in your career? ... or are you bouncing from job to job or stagnating in a position you hate? Do you feel that colleagues appreciate your efforts or are you regularly criticized "for no good reason"?
After identifying your patterns, ask yourself: What beliefs do I have that contribute to these outcomes? For instance, you may believe that "You can only earn money after a lot of struggle" ... or that "People will ultimately let you down." Make a list of your beliefs.
2. Stop placing the blame on others or on external circumstances. If you've identified any patterns you don't like, the solution is not found in blaming your parents,your employer or spouse. And, guess what? It won't help to blame yourself either! You'll just feel worse. Simply acknowledge the fact that you are perpetuating the pattern because of your thinking and your behavior.
3. Visualize the new pattern you wish to develop. Your mind is now filled with pictures that support your existing circumstances! To break free from this, you must substitute images of what you choose to become.So, if you want to be more confident, imagine yourself acting with more assurance. For instance, you migh tthink of yourself delivering an effective presentation in front of a large group in your company.
4. Watch your words. Be very careful about what you say,both to yourself ("self talk") and to others. Words and phrases that put you down or describe your limitations will keep you from establishing a new pattern.
5. Distance yourself from those who exhibit your "old"pattern. If you want to break a dependency on drugs or alcohol, you can't continue to hang around people who abuse these substances, right? Similarly, if you want to break a chain of negative thinking, don't keep company with negative thinkers.
6. Take action that supports the new pattern. If you have been putting off regular exercise for years, make the commitment to take a walk every day for the next 30days. In just a few days, you'll start developing a new pattern of exercising. Perhaps you'll choose to read a book for an hour or two in the evenings instead of watching TV. Get a book today and start reading tonight.
The time to start your new pattern is now. Action creates momentum. Pay attention to recurring situations in your life. They aren't happening by "accident;" rather, they are a reflection of what's going on inside of you. When you elevate your thinking about what's possible -- and feel good about yourself -- you'll begin to produce miracles!
Monday, 16 July 2007
I'll be detailing the steps i'm taking and measuring how well i'm doing on this thingiiiii!!!!
Someone forwarded this to me and i found some of the tips useful, i've marked the ones i can and will do in yellow and put some of my thoughts in green!!!
36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. Especially since i'm going to be dealing with Lagos traffic;)
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases. Also avoid buying stuff on credit generally this "pay small small" at each month end syndrome.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K. Y. M.S. (Keep Your (mine this case;)Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible(or any good book) with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest. Health is wealth
18. Eat right. In small portions as well
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.( This i already do, it's amazing how it helps truly)
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder(maybe notebook) of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge betweendespair and hope is often a good"Thank you Jesus."
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all. Don't know about this second bit oh
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can). Hmmmm
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most). It can be quite exasperating i must tell you and trust me i know!!!!
32. Sit on your ego. Don't let pride ruin/rule you, your ego mustn't become bloated
33. Talk less; listen more. Very important
34. Slow down. Especially when driving!!!(lol)
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe. Or the saviour of thw world at that!
36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. Even if it's just for still being alive:)
All i wanted to do this weekend was watch movies and catch up on sleep!!!!!
It started off well and kinda normal.
I bought petrol so that nothing would hamper my plans, there was food all over the house so i won't get bored. I had a book to read and magazines to catch up on.
Nothing could go wrong, my plan was fool proof.
Nepa was at it (as expected) on Friday morning before i left for work and thanks to the generator i didn't quite notice it.
On Friday , i got home quite early, all just so that i could catch up on my sleep.
and then it happened
Nepa had struck and i attempted to put on the generator.
I heard a loud bang and took off...
To cut the long story short
Generator no gree work,
The whole weekend Nepa didn't flicker for more than ten minutes.
I was so so depressed.
Surprisingly i was calm through out, normally i'd have started to throw tantrums but this time i took it all in my stride.
This country especially Lagos is tough to live in true.
Right now i'm battling sleep seriously!!!!
The heat was much didn't sleep till 2.30 last night and i still needed to be up by about 6am to avoid getting stuck in traffic, which is inevitable anyway!!!
Hopefully i'd be able to catch up on the sleep when the generator is fixed today...
All i wanted to do was sleep and i couldn't even get it done!!!
This Lagos na real wa ;)
Where we are coming from
Our past mistakes
Where we should be
Where we are headed
Who we are
Of all our past sins
Of our past ways
Of all bad things
Make ammends for our past sins(where we are able to do so)
Desist from doing bad bad things ;)
So that our life can be good and we can go to heaven;)
I commit to doing all these today, so help me Lord
N.B- This is a short summary of all that was said.
Wednesday, 11 July 2007
Saturday, 7 July 2007
The friendship started off quite ordinarily
He was easy to talk to.....
I was in a real jam, he sorted me and provided a shoulder to lean on during that period
We hung out as often as we could
Those were such happy times
Many many months and maybe even years after in a sudden "aha" moment he gave me a kiss
We took it further and ended up making fire under the covers, i killed the fire and chased him off as soon as i realised it was " he" on top of me
I didn't realise he was really fond of me
I thought what i wanted or rather was looking for will appear in a finer and bigger package!!!!
Some little girl appeared on the scene
I teased him mercilessly about it
He suddenly disappeared and i got more absorbed with my life
Last night I saw him, he's in the country on a short vacation
With the little girl in tow......
I was with him till pretty late
It was quite passionate
Just like in the movies
And then i realised he had become what i was looking for
A nicer, finer and even bigger package
Today, I am being tormented by so many thoughts of what could've been
If only i had looked beyond my nose at the time.....
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
Nothing nasty, more like a mischievous text in fact.
I called back but he was already asleep, so this morning I call him and he says " oh some chick he's seeing found out we had shagged after breaking up(Okafor's law was in effect here)!!
And i thought big deal,i'm not going to go on a guilt trip cause of that!!
This morning, he sends another text saying to please buzz him when i'm free.
I do so and he gives me a mini-shocker.
He says the little girl wants to talk to me. Now i'm like what's that about?????
So out of curiousity i collect her number( i don't want her having my no and all that paparazzi) and give her a ring from my office line/phone.
She picks and i say "so i heard you wanna speak to me" Then she says she just wants to apologise for coming between me and my ex... she's so sorry, she don't want me bearing her grudge and stuff. That she didn't know he was involved with someone at the time she met him and all that paparazzi......
At this point i'm thinking.. "wetin be this one now?"
So i tell her, i truly bear her no grudge(really she's of no significance to me) and the relationship broke up for reasons that didn't quite include her(at least i hope she was not a catalyst to the whole degeneration of the relationship)!!!
Since then i've been wondering, which kain thing be this, this early morning for that matter?
Was that really the reason she wanted to speak to me?
All sorts that i've seen in this my short span of life, true....
Monday, 2 July 2007
It was cold
I remembered the passion we shared
Morning, Afternoon and Night
Your touch always felt the same
At those times
Nothing else mattered
Just your gentle voice(twas at that time anyway)
And the sound of my name on your lips and yours on mine
I loved scratching your arms at those times
The tingly feelings you always made me feel
All gone now....
I really missed you last nite!!!!!
You know who you are
Friday, 29 June 2007
Woke up late and decided not to rush off because i anticipated traffic on all the roads.
So i left home when i "guessed" that traffic would have eased off however i still drove in traffic for over one hour and a half.
The roads were flooded, pot holes everywhere!!!
In fact i don't think anyone in this office got here early today, na so so traffic we all dey complain....
I'm about to write a petition to the Lagos State government. They just have to do something about this mess on all the roads
What a mess truly....
Thursday, 28 June 2007
Stopped by to talk with my ex instead.
My work of course suffered and i really felt bad so i decided to stay extra hours and correct my wrong.
May the Almighty God forgive me for this bad thing i did today.
I'm truly tired of this work, but on searching my self i realise that i have barely put in any extra effort into the job and thus i shouldn't expect it to fufill me so much
I also stumbled on the scripture that asks us to "do things/ work diligently/ make our service as unto God instead of unto man" and i commit to doing that henceforth.
I will be here before resumption time as much as is within my power except on days when traffic is truly beyond me!!!
And actually work diligently, instead of chit chatting and browsing silly sites...
I need to put a lot of things in order.
I have realised that i have spent a great part of me and my time trying to please others/make them happy and much to a large extent neglected to develop myself or make myself happy.
Seeing that i have exhausted my energies on other people/things who have by the way barely acknowledged it or appreciated it, i have decided to do more of "self" investments and development right now.
So for now, my main focus is just making myself totally happy and serving God diligently....
I could turn back the hands of time
I would not have always hung around him like i had no other life asides with him
I would also not have got into so many "fights" just because i wanted to spend the night with him
Looking back now, i should have allowed him BEG me and done so only on rare occasions.
My bad,i thought it was good opportunity for us to bond.;(
Apparently he was never quite tripped by it.
I also would never have come clean about my real financial status(then). I thought we could walk that path together
I cringe every time he mentions "how i am unable to manage my monies"
All because i came clean and told him about my "investments that went down the drain"
I thought i was also doing the right thing every time i quarrelled with my folks just to be with him.
I didn't think he'd encourage me because it's not a nice thing to do i know.
But i definitely didn't think i'd ever hear him use these things against me.
I mean i did some of them for him!!!
Ah, and then there's the famous "I never tell him the truth" . True i sometimes did not tell the truth.
But really i do not know why i keep telling him things that are not true....
Maybe because he could be so so judgemental and nothing was ever acceptable in his sight.
All the energy channeled into making the relationship work!!!!
All gone down the drain.
Then he says i do not exhibit my values....
That he does not even know if i have any!!!!
Just imagine oh.
He really had a lot to say
Funny thing i really was not as sad as normally i'd be after talking with him, or more like receiving a lecture from him.
Guess i'm kinda stronger now.
Even now for the first time in a long time, i'm relieved we're over
I'm going to avoid him like a plague for a while to get my "head" back together
I've decided to be objective and accept where i was wrong and brace myself for the next boy that comes my way!!!
God help him.....
Only when i took a step back and brought my nose down from my high horse did i realise that my financial challenges were many too and i really am not on top of my game as per money matters n stuff.
The difference between us, may be the fact that i am aware of some of my excesses that cause me these strains and i am on the path to recovery. By tracking my spending(s) and cutting down on frivolities until i'm back at my financial apex(or at least i'm quite close to it) I believe i'm well on my journey to "squeezing water out of this rock" called money.
I know it's not easy but my contemporaries are doing "big things" with their monies and i will not be left off this band wagon!!!
So i've decided to also take a step back in other areas too and stop being so judgemental of people experiencing challenges, even when they are seemingly caused by themselves!!!!
I will also further look inward at my own short comings and work at improving them rather that "take painkillers for someone else's headache" as i'm wont to do!!!
Monday, 25 June 2007
I resume(d) back at work today....
Not quite happy to be here actually, wish i could continue to stay in bed and still get paid..
So now here I am sitting here, drinking cranberry tea ;) and blogging
Anyway it was quite a happy weekend for me
My birthday was yesterday and my best friend/sister's birthday was on Saturday.
There was quite a bit of celebration as we "partied" throughout the entire weekend.
We made so much food and noise and on Saturday even though Nepa didn't give us electricity and there was no fuel in the gen, we had some friends over and had a happy time, taking pictures, eating and making plenty of noise.
The night took a different turn though when my ex decided to give me and my friend his perceived view of my shortcomings.
Tried not to get angry, and took it all in, believing that he was sharing these in good faith and supposedly for my overall good.
Some were true, the others were just trash and i promptly flung them out of my ears as soon as he said them
Anyway for my birthday, quite suprisingly i got many calls, a few texts but no presents hehehehe
In all i had a nice day sha, I decided to buy four litres of petrol at an outrageous amount of N1500 and then to my chagrin Nepa decided to be nice and supplied electricity all day and all nite...
I'm still feeling excited even though i'm kinda nearer the big 30 now!!!
I don dey old oh!!!
Monday, 18 June 2007
1.What time did you get up this morning?5.00 am. Needed to catch the staff bus to work.
2. Diamonds or pearls?Diamonds please...
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?Ocean's 13. Really Nice
4. What is your favorite TV show? Can this question be answered in plural because i have many- Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, Grey's Anatomy, Friends etc
5. What did you have for breakfast?Agege Bread and Sardines with butter aka blue band margarine
6. What is your middle name?Victoria Elizabeth
7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal?All types of rice- white, jollof, fried, chinese etc with peppery stew and big meat/chicken/fish ;)
8. What foods do you dislike?Beans
9. Your favorite Potato chip?Maybe Pringles
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?Akon's Convict and T-Pain's new stuff are making me high right now
11. What kind of car do you drive? Honda Civic
12. Favorite sandwich?None really. I'll go with anything
13. What characteristics do you despise? Lousiness, greed, wickedness and judgemental(ness)
14. Favorite item of clothing?I love my jeans anyday
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?Erm....not sure
16. What color is your bathroom?I'd say white with patterns on the tiles
17. Favorite brand of clothing?They're quite a no of good brands and i'm not particularly picky...
18. Where would you want to retire? hmmmmm food for thought
19. Favorite time of day?Early in the morning, when everywhere's still so nice n quiet...
20. Where were you born?Lagos
21. Favorite sport(s) to watch?None
22. Who do you least expect to respond to this?Errm....
23. Person you expect to respond first? Emmm again..
24. What laundry scent do you use?Not applicable ;)
25. Coke or Pepsi?Coke
26. Are you a morning person or night owl?Morning night is for sleeping please:)
27. What size shoe do you wear? 6
28. Do you have pets?Yep a nice n cute but very naughty doggie
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Not at the moment
30. What did you want to be when you were little?A Lawyer.
31. Favorite Candy Bar?None
32. What is your best childhood memory?Hmmmm let's see
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?Call centre agent, Supervisor, Training Specialist
34. What color/type underwear are you wearing?Purple striped boy pants
35.Nicknames:It would instantly give my ID away
36. Piercings?Just two regular ones. One on each ear.
37. Eye color?Brown
38a) Ever been to Africa?I live there.
38b) Ever been to South Australia?Nah
39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? Not even sure what that means
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? yeah just that the tears didn't come out
41. Been in a car accident?U can't drive in Lagos and not experience such mishaps.
42. Croutons or bacon bits?Bacon bits .
43.Favorite day of the week?Friday....
44. Favorite restaurant?Not quite sure about this one
45. Favorite flower? Red roses are quite nice
46. Favorite ice cream?Chocolate Chip cookie (at chocoalte Royale it's called Strataciella(or something like that)
47. How many times did you fail your driver's test?I didn't even take a driver's test
48. What color is your bedroom carpet?Green
49. How many times did you fail your driver's test?None biko.
50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email?My Oga
51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card?Let's see now... which one of them??
52. What do you do most often when you are bored?Read, watch DVDs or call my ex.
53. Bedtime?By 10pm i'm usually fast asleep except on rare occasions
54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?London Chameleon
55. Last person you went to dinner with? My family
56. What are you listening to right now? Yahoozy
57. What is your favorite color?Blue, green, purple
58. Lake, Ocean or river?which one of these waters is Bar beach???? That's the one i like
59. How many tattoos do you have?None.
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?I'll submit my research findings on this one very soon!!!
I almost felt like i was writing an exam, i no know who send me work!!!! ;)
I went and got a real different and snazzy hair do..
My nails also got a make over, got them a nice French Manicure
I feel great and quite refreshed today...
Just that i've spent the whole day reading blogs and not working...
what a way to start the week :)
Wish i could get back into bed, i'm so damn lazy ;)
My birthday is next weekend and i'm looking forward to it like anything, feel so old now...
Still working on changing my approach to life...
Tis raining at the moment, feels like it's washing away all of my dirty misdeeds!!!!
Hmmmmm, What a warm feeling
Sunday, 17 June 2007
I gave myself to someone i'm not dating
Bad thing is I didn't even enjoy it....
I feel like a worm right now
How could i have condesended so low???????
I need to see a therapist asap....
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
Normal in the sense that i woke up late as usual...
Stayed up late watching desperate housewives and arranging room and of course the after effects were quite expected. Traffic was quite "unusually" heavy and i was stuck in it for hours... Living in Lagos can be quite trying really!!!
These days i try to get to work early, it's just so difficult because the work conditions are not getting better and it's a real challenge making it through the day
I'm thankful for the job but seriously things could be better for me.
However in the spirit of being positive i say to myself as always "This job is a stepping stone to greater things. My situation will change very soon and i will find a job that best suits me and pays very well and i'll be happy to come to work daily" "Things can only get better for me, i choose to be unfazed by my immediate surroundings"
I got in and my Oga tried to grate on my last nerves, but i managed it well and kept my irritation to myself and table mates.
A few days ago, i found out that some ladies i had taken in confidence, gone the extra mile for on several occasions and in fact assumed to be my friends were gossiping about me and actually saying nasty and venomous stuff about me. I guess that's my punishment for being a gossip in my recent past!!!
Now i'm trying to sift through my associates and determine which ones have geninue friendship to offer....
So here I am sitting my desk and trying to work. But it's so difficult because it's raining and i wish i could get into my bed and watch Prison break or desperate housewives...
I'm so not excited today.
My "office romance" fizzled out as suddenly as it started. Guess i didn't quite handle it well and had high expectations or maybe I thought men were still as nice and geninue as in the days of Abraham and Sarah and King David and co.
It exploded right in my face and the sticky pieces are still hanging off me, i'm only just trying to recuperate...
So that's it.
That's how i'm feeling today!
Monday, 11 June 2007
What is most important to me?
What are my values?
What really motivates me?
What am I known for?
What do i want to be remembered for?
I feel it will help me on this my path to self discovery...
I feel like my life is about to be transformed
I wonder who/what I am about to metamorphose into;)
I feel like i've kept a lot of my treasures locked up on the inside for too long...
I've spent a greater part of my "adulthood" still being a child....
Things are definetely going to have to change around here....
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Firstly, I woke up from my wonderful and happy dream where i was able to buy petrol in my car and in like five jerry cans( there's a fuel scarcity in Lagos at the moment) and i had been quite traumatised by this (apparently) especially since the fuel tank in my car showed red yesterday evening on my way from work (lol)....
Anyway i spent the better half of my commute(i like that word sounds so European) i guess hustle is more "lagos like" ;) . Ok so, hustle reading my book and looking at inscriptions on buses!!!
Today i didn't see any extra ordinary ones, and was quite disappointed! However my moment came when i saw a sign across a stall, saying "IDERA JEWELERRIES" now i didn't mind that as i am used to the fact that around here people call jewellery- jewelleries... the part that totally cracked me up was " WASH YOUR GOLDS" lol...
Wash your golds indeed... ;)
Anyway i just got into the office and as usual needed to offload this before settling in...
Be right back blog ;)
Friday, 1 June 2007
All I've done is read blogs and generally just day dream!!!
So i decided to make the best of the rest of the day by blogging again(lol)
Such productive work abi?
Anyway as suddenly as it started my "office romance" is waning off and i don't even know why!!!
I'm kinda sad because i was actually getting fond of d bugger...
Last nite i gave it a final attempt, by calling him and asking exactly what we were doing(cos i was/am tired of stealing kisses with him)
He really had nothing to say and obviously he's just "enjoying" himself. So right now, i need to lose this attraction i have developed for him and it's just painful(sort of anyway)
I'm just tired of getting it wrong with guys, it's just so depressing!!!
Anyway i'm off to my fun and activity packed weekend...
These man matters are really overwhelming!!!
Truly i need to find a/the reason why.
I mean how do you explain breaking the heel of your shoe on an escalator with your hot new toaster right in front of you? or buying coffee from macdonald's and suffering your poor tongue from the scalding bitter drink, all the while not realising you're supposed to put in sugar and milk yourself????????? Or nearly breaking your ear and head by walking into a window in the full view of your old classmate and her hussie because u're were busy chattering away?????????
Stories for another day
Today's disaster was quite a classic....
I have been invited to a 60th birthday party tonight and being the socialite that I am, i wanted to be decked up to the teeth... so i decided to launch one new hot white skirt i bought aeons ago and never wore....
I left my house feeling "very fine" this morning though i got into my usual frenzy of where is my slippers?, where is my one thing and the other? (lol).It was quite a well rounded morning... and i was late to complete the mix:)
Managed to arrive at work just a few minutes late today:)
For some reason my office has been designed with lots of reflecting mirriors(according to my niece) and so after chattering all the way from the car park with my colleague i walked up to the door and saw red!!!!
My whole "pata" aka 'paint" was out in the open.
"Oh the lining of my skirt has crawled up" i said to my colleague and i ran off to the nearest bathroom...
I was astonished to find that the lining of the skirt was in fact in place, and the only thing wrong was that the skirt was transparent and my whole bussom was showing for the whole world to see!!!!
I was wearing a white skirt with red pant!!!
My black skin turned red...
I was mortified.
I had to endure the 10minutes walk back to my car and i sped back home to change the entire outfit!!!!
I'm still hissing here.....
What a morning this has been ;)
Now my seat mates are calling me "snowwhite" (lol)
One even asked me if i didn't have a "simi"(waist slip/petticoat/under skirt)... I looked at her with my eyebrows raised?
Do chicks still posess such things?
Me I stopped wearing one when i reached SS3 and saw the light oh (lol)
Anyway we'll see what other "disasters" crop up later on today!!!
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Looked at the resolutions/goals i set for myself at the beginning of this year and i realised i hadn't quite hit the target on them...
Been so so distracted by many things that aren't quite as important and i'm falling into the same trap i've fallen into over the many past years of my adult hood, you know where i lose focus and generally just allow the year(s) pass me by!!!
I need to buckle up truly....
Wish i could find motivation and determination and will power from within
One thing i have kinda achieved this year though is further appreciating my individuality!!
I'm understanding myself more now and appreciating my uniqueness.
I'm learning that truly i'm not accountable to anyone but God and myself...
I now find happiness for myself and i'm not totally dependent on others to make me happy.
I'm also drawing up a list of my positive attributes which will boost my self confidence and esteem.
It has not been an easy path but i'm working towards dropping all my flaws especially >>>>
God will help me!!!
The path to becoming "perfect" really has many mountains and rivers to cross....
Friday, 18 May 2007
Can you imagine this my friend...
She asked me to submit a form for her in our office aeons ago, which i did!!!
And then yesterday she sends me a rude text asking if i submitted the form. For some reason i was very calm and went the extra mile of checking the office log book, just to ascertain that i submitted the form. Of course I did.
Called her and told her this and in fact told her where exactly to continue her enquiries from.
Then i returned her missed calls this morning,only for her to be snapping and asking me where i submitted the forms that she had checked the log book and didn't see it bla bla bla.
I lost it then, raised my voice and asked her why she was yelling at me. Then she said oh she was stressed yak yak yak.
Now my point is, over the years i have learnt to accord my 'friends' so much respect especially when i'm stressed or upset that i refrain from lashing at out at them and as such i wonder why in blazes that cannot be recipocated.
i mean do i look stupid, slow or what????????
Is this what being nice to people always results in? RUDENESS!!!!!
I mean i'm so ticked off right now.
Because of the risk of being tagged insensitive to her situation(this is after she don make me feel like mumu oh), i further sent her a mail directing her appropriately and even called her up to make sure she got the mail. And she has the impudence to be sounding cold to me
Just imagine this crappy crap!!!!
I really need to begin to nip all this crappy crap that people dish out to me truly.
Cannot understand why people just like to behave anyhow to people... so annoying!!!!
Still fuming here
Picking up the pieces It may not completely make sense but I want to document this phase I passed through Sometimes life decides to hand...
I hope i get some male perspectives on this discourse!!! I grew up watching/seeing my mum wear hair nets. I thought/assumed/believed it wa...
Picking up the pieces It may not completely make sense but I want to document this phase I passed through Sometimes life decides to hand...
the actual title of my post should actually be "awijare"! It's a Yoruba expression and I'm afraid I haven't been able ...