Thursday, 16 April 2020

I don mature for this jungle!!!!

I don mature for this jungle! 

Surely I am still a work in progress but I’ve certainly moved way past where I was. 

Demola’s bells rang yesterday. I was having a casual meal just nibbling on moin moin literally! I was simultaneously playing candy crush too. Next thing he’s yelling drop the phone drop the phone. For a second I thought he wanted to say something and I asked what’s up. Then he says I can’t eat and use my phone. 

So of course I asked “is it at this my forty years of age, that you want to determine what I can do or not do?’ E ma gba mi ke?!  He’s then yelling  about how so as my husband he’s too small to talk to me or tell me what to do. I then said he shouldn’t mix issues up but he certainly can’t be the one determining how and when I’d use my phone. 

What kind of ego makes some of these Nigerian men feel they can literally control another human being ie a wife?! I’m not his child or sibling why would he feel the need or urge to control me to that extent? 

That’s abuse ain’t it? It’s a battle I’ve fought endlessly. This same man at one time would turn off the tv in my room while I’m watching late at night and say to me “go to bed”. You can imagine the countless brawls that spun off from those incidents . Twelve years after it’s my use of the phone that’s his problem . And this is coming From someone who lives on his phone! Every waking second of his life he’s using the phone. It used to bother me at a time I cannot lie but I’ve grown used to it and  since adapted . 
What does he want me to fill in the gaps with if I can’t use my phone? I shouldn’t have any social interaction with him and I also shouldn’t with others? 

Anyway the bit where I was proud of myself is in the conversation thereafter! I asked him what the problem was . I have to screenshot the conversation so that in future when I’m reading this I’d further affirm to myself  really I was married to a pyscho.

I’m angry and sad and further depressed all at the same time. I’ve prayed though not as deeply as I should have. It’s a lot to deal with all at the same time. But there’s hope and light at the end of this tunnel. 

By God’s grace this too shall pass! 

We move!!!  xoxo 

3 comments:

doll (retired blogger) said...

Hmm.

you need to decide what you want to do. come up with a plan of action and execute it

there is no reason to stay and endure abuse in 2020 IMO.

SHE said...

Is there something that can make this better? Take it easy...

Fluffycutething said...

Thanks for your kind comments @SHE and @doll - i wish i could leave immediately. Unfortunately things have not been too good for me financially for a bit too long. As soon as i get some employment its one of the first things i'd address God willing.

I don mature for this jungle!!!!

I don mature for this jungle!  Surely I am still a work in progress but I’ve certainly moved way past where I was.  Demola’s bells ...