Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Issues of life?

Working in a small organization exposes you to such a high level of politicking that its almost sickening on some days. It's concerns me even more when people are at the apex of thier careers and still demonstrate a complete lack of integrity, as well as divide and rule technique amongst staff. It's disgusting to me and unfortunately I have found myself in this system for a bit too long! So unhappy at my situation today!
All is well
It's part of the learning curve 
My mind abi na heart has strayed in the past few weeks, I truly salute every one who has stayed faithful in thier relationships even when things are tough. This does not mean I have strayed oh! 
I had an interesting discourse with some family members the other day. We were talking about an uncle of ours who's currently the chairman of a multinational. My maternal grandpa sent him to school. The co-discussants were of the opinion that the man should be more helpful towards family members especially folks like my mum. Their point being that it is afterall thanks to my grandad that the man was educated in the 1st place. But I'm like should anyone be indebted forever? I certainly agree that he should give back to my mum in anyway he can buts the extent is now completely left to him in my humble opinion. In the same vein someone who my mum helped to educate is now been proposed to be her caregiver at this time that she needs one. I feel the girl has her life to live and shouldn't be pressured into giving back in this form. If she freely suggests such then fine if not then we explore other options. We cannot go through life completely indebted to all our helpers as far as I'm concerned. I know in the case of the uncle/multinational company chairman he's so wealthy that even giving my mum 10k pounds monthly isn't far fetched, but that he's not doing so doesn't make him the bad guy. 
I ended that Conversation that day reminding everyone that these expectations they have of that man for eg are the same expectations people are likely to have of them and how many really are they able to meet up? Even in thier own little way!
It's also disappointing to note that the very acts one condemns in other people calling them uncivilized and greedy are apparently present in one's own backyard. I lost an uncle and was most disappointed to hear that even in my own elite family there has been a scramble for the wealth he left behind!!! 
This life sef 

7 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

I wish more Nigerians understood that no one really OWES us anything. The sense of entitlement and obligation is sometimes good for community bonding, but it can be destructive too.

Enkay said...

The thing is that everybody has made progress in their lives due to some little help from other people so it is unrealistic to expect to pay back everyone who has ever helped us. Or expect them to keep paying us back either.

I am wondering if it is a Nigerian thing though? 'Cos I hear stuff like this all the time.

HoneyDame said...

God bless you for this post! I cant for the life of me understand why people can be that way sometimes. You know, the funny thing is that these same people are usually the proponents of selfless giving. The irony! If the only reason you are helping a person is so that the said person can be indebted to you, you have set yourself up for disappointment.

Like Myne said, the sense of entitlement can be good, but it has to be within reasonable limit.

Enkay, it might be. The culture has a huge role to play in this. In the states for example, parents are hardly responsible for their kids' finances once they get into college. To an extent, this reduces the sense of responsibility that the child has towards the parent. So, I find that in a lot of cases, parents dont have such expectations (all man for himself, to a very large extent)

Toinlicious said...

Gospel: "We cannot go through life completely indebted to all our helpers" It puts undue pressure on everyone. If you repay then wonderful but if not, people shouldn't be judged because you never really know the battles they are fighting

Fluffycutething said...

I'm so happy that I have others sharing my viewpoint no one else seemed to agree on that day!!!

sykik said...

My thoughts is that there are times that God places us in a position to help someone, once we do the "helping" we should leave it at that because, the truth is that it is God that gives anyone the grace and ability to help, if you don't help, God can and will raise other people to do it.

The attitude of making someone feel forever indebted to anyone because of a good deed is mean...doing good at all times should be a selfless service

Highly Favored said...

The saying goes people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Most often we fail to acknowledge the season perspective and get disapointed when we don't see lifetime commitments/results.

picking up the pieces 1

Picking up the pieces It may not completely make sense but I want to document this phase I passed through Sometimes life decides to hand...