Afro says they come in threes....

Just sitting here musing over one of my most mortifying moments which occured two weeks ago

I've got this small cousin...

We're pretty "close"

She looks up to me as her older sis(she hasn't got any biological ones you see)


My then boyfriend and i were just "rabbits" we would get at it any and every where

So for both our good(s) we decide to keep a pack of rubbers at my place...

I hid it far far away, infact it was in the same envelope i kept my mints which were for spraying at every owambe i went that period.


So my other cousin is getting married and i'm running late as usual. LOL

So i grab the envelope, rubbers n all and rush off to the church

I think i manage to make the joining or something.

At some point we need to drop money in the collection bowl

so i turn to my small cousin and ask her to open my purse and get money from the envelope.

All this time i had totally forgotten the contraband in the envelope.

You can just imagine my shock when she starts pulling them out different colours-pink,yellow, black,blue,i think there was red too.

I went red, trust me my black skin went red.

Heck my siblings were sharing the pew with me plus my friends were there.

I just grabbed the envelope and ran out the church!!!!!


During my last holiday, my bestest friend (whose name i will spare you all) gave me KY jelly and some orgasm intensifying cream which i happily took back with me to Africa...

As usual I stashed it in some bag at the far corner of my closet, ok sorry ward robe...

On this fateful day, my long time "disease" of arranging clothes decided to rear it's head.

So i emptied the ward robe even though it was well arranged anyway and started to arrange.

The next day i was still arranging and this my small cousin came to visit!!!

So she's sitting on my bed, just rifling through the clothes

When she grabs this bag...

Now my back is turned and i didn't even remember i had such goods in my stuff!!!

Sha, she pulls out the gel and cream and asks me

"Sis, wetin be this?????????"

Chai i nearly died....

I quickly stuttered the most hopeless response ever " oh that, my friend gave me to try" I thought adding "when i marry would be absolutely pathetic ROFL>>>>>>>

Now since Afrobabe says these disasters happen in threes,

I'm crossing my fingers on the third "disaster" to happen

I hope she will not actually catch me in the sack sha

Because that one- my friend na die i go just die...


Afrobabe said…
Holy shit I just saw ky jelly in the post...if my name features anywhere near it u don die....
Afrobabe said…
mennnnnnnnnn God save u....

no 3 will be ur mum catching u and retelling the story while using her hand to demonstrate the thing she saw.

Pink-satin said…
shit!!!!MORTIFIcATION x 100000000000 raised to power 2
pink gloves said…
Please keep ur Goodies centralized, that way noone is messing with it, or u end up picking up the wrong stuff. lol.
Per the KY jelly, just say u use it to apply ur tampons. lol. no kwanta.
misspumping said…
ha ha ha, serious yawa. funny enough i have never had that experience. for some reason i am so paranoid of it happening that my stash if ever is kept in a locked travel case which can proove difficult to find in the throes of passion but i will rather have a few moments of awkwardness than my yansh being opened in public eg church
hahahaha! Oh my, I am laughing way too hard!

I hope you don't get caught again oh! Just rebuke that Afrobabe's happen in 3s nonsense! lol!

fluffycutething said…
@Afro- u r d cause of all this drama or don't u know?

And if i ever get busted by my mum be sure i will say YOU gave me the stuff to keep for you!!! LOL

@Pink satin- if i could turn pink from d embarrassment i would have :)

@ Pink gloves- i should have thought of that u know.... the only problem will now be if the said cousin is there d day i'm using my tampons ROFL!!!!
fluffycutething said…
@Misspumping- ur idea sounds good, unfortunately i don't have those pretty vanity/travel cases which would have just served the purpose fine!!! Maybe i should invest in one???????

ROFL just imagining how awkward i'd look draggin out my suitcases just to reach the "things" LOL
fluffycutething said…
@solomosydelle i rebuke afro, i rebuke afro, i rebuke afro

That should settle it yeah??????


Were the trio a part of this solution??????? LOL
Simi Speaks said…
hehehehehehe.. oh geess, too funny..

i bet the poor girl was horrified.
NikkiSab said…
JESU CHRISTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I din nearly cry for u. lmao!!! sorry. AMEN AMEN dis na d last time she don shame u.chei!!
Naapali said…
Perhaps it is time you explained this is a grown up toy and let it be. Third time is when u spray your friend with Durex and co.
darkelcee said…

third one? my God will not allow it. lol
fluffycutething said…
@Simi- truly she did a good job of not acting embarassed, she just had a blank and calm "sis wetin be this look" on her face LOL

@Nikki- I join u say that prayer oh because even me sef no get the heart for any further disgrace abeg

@Napaali- Seeing as u have a stronger heart than me, please my dear i will need you to come and help me give that lecture biko LOL

As for that third time... Darkelcee is right now firing prayers for me so there will be no spraying of any sorts ROFL

@Darkelcee i join you for that prayer oh my siste.... ;)
Naijachic said…
lol, hope she doesn't catch u oh!
Abbie said…
hey, she's gotta learn

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