Friday, 11 January 2013

Mr and mrs matters


I was speaking with a friend of mine last night, he's a husband and father of two. He's a good guy very exceptional and quite a hands on husband and dad. He's not a 100% though and that applies to us all anyway. So I asked on a random note if his wife appreciated a particular gesture of his and his response was stunning to me. He said like all women she didn't appreciate the gesture or any of his gestures per Se.She may say thank you but probably feels its her right and that many men ie husbands out there would do same!
He may be exaggerating a bit but it got me thinking, that statement or inference is one my husband constantly accuses me of. So I wonder is it peculiar to all we women? Are we really expected to show profuse thanks when our husbands perform their duties? Of course this my mean different things to different people eg if he pays the rent its his duty am I as his wife to add an extra piece of meat to his supper in gratitude ? Or shag him for an extra 10mins or just say well done my dear?
I remember reading a blog post where the lady talked about how she kinda soothed her man with extra loving after he paid the children's school fees. While I must agree that it probably was good of her to do so etc sometimes I wonder if it is necessary? I usually just say a perfunctory thanks after some duties are performed by my hubby. Should I be making a new year resolution to change in that area?
I'd also like him to thank me profusely when I serve his meals too :D


7 comments:

Afronuts said...

Interesting!

This is one of the reasons I hold my wife in high esteem. Anytime I pay the children's fees, give her housekeep money, she not only thanks me but says a prayer for me.
It may look like its not necessary but believe me its a BIG DEAL!

The act humbles me and makes me realize how important I am to my family and how much I'm appreciated. Apart from that, I'm compelled to also appreciate her when she cooks food that I enjoy. I never fail to compliment her looks when she dresses up. When she wears my favourite outfit I express my admiration and she ends up glowing all day.

Men are egoistic creatures that crave appreciation just as much as women.

That your hubby is asking for it means he desires to be appreciated. When you do that, it encourages him to perform better thereby turning him into a better person. Pls don't say because its his 'duty' he should live with it.

You may not believe it but this is one of the lubricants that oil the wheels of marriage.

Okeoghene said...

Showing gratitude is good but it is also a two way street.Both the husband and wife should be able to show appreciation.

Hazel said...

A man should provide for his family, yes. But there's nothing wrong with showing him how grateful you are that he is providing. Many husbands dont!

I can confidently say that there's nothing i've ever asked of my husband that he doesnt do...if its within his power. @Afronuts' comment is exactly the reason behind it.

The Nigerian said...

showing gratitude, shows a man that he is appreciated. Most people like appreciation. You as a mother, if you should dress up your son for school and then he looks up and thanks you, you will feel appreciated even though it's something you are supposed to do. Showing appreciation is not a must but it goes a long way.

Dare To Be said...

Put it this way, men universe wide love to have their egos fanned!
If thanking him profusely won't break you or cause any havoc to you, I would say why not:, in my opinion, it is such a small price to pay to make him do even more!lol

Fluffycutething said...

While I won't say the concept of giving "extra thanks" is strange to me. I find this feedback very helpful. It's an area I have to improve on I guess. I usually would say only the obligatory thanks to an such gestures!!

Good stuff people

Daughter of Her King said...

Great feedback and me am learning..

I'd say one of the reasons u can thank hubby is by helping him to undress after a long day @ work.
Imagine setting his food on the table, taking off his shoes, socks, a bit of massage on the feet etc etc. Just after paying the fees or bills or anything else. Kia, the way his head will swell ehn..

I bet he would think so paying the bills is all I have to keep doing to get such treatment. Obviously, this treatment will only happen once in a blue moon... hahah

I do agree saying thanks with extra gratitude in the little things even when its our responsibility does and can encourage people to do MORE and extra.

I like when people appreciate my hardwork however little or big. It encouraging.

Try buying him a thank u card too and cake.

I am good with romantic gestures oo. lol. xxx