Friday, 5 October 2007

No Nollywood no!!!!!

Nigerian movies are favourite past time of mine....

Their stupidity is just "world class"

All my friends cannot understand why or how i manage to sit through them

I call everyone while watching to lament about this or about that ;)

And sadly these movies just ain't improving.

Last night i was watching a "Yoruba" movie and was astonished to see that three of the actors' names' were Linda, Stella and Michael and these are supposed to be Yoruba people oh. It just does not make sense, if they are supposedly selling Nigerian culture why not "native names"?

Some other film i watched ages ago had the star actresses named "Beyonce and Atlanta".For goodness sakes who names their Nigerian children that?????????

But hey i digress :)

The next movie i watched was an "English" movie and so naturally all the actors had "English" names, no i didn't mind at all,after all we need to match up with our contemporaries in Hollywood who bear names like Tracy, Anastasia and Sasha.

By the way i hear our Niger Delta brothers bear names like that anyway and i actually found myself a toaster(sort of anyway) named Romeo. He's from those parts apparently LOL

Imagine my shock when my good friend called me to ask how "Othello" (referring to Romeo) was doing ROFL

Again i digress,

So there i was watching this English Naija movie, that was filled with long unending scenes of trees and cars and people walking, when suddenly they started to play some stupid music ( it's the one they ALWAYS play) and some boys are trying to axe each other i guess it's supposed to be a "Cult hit" scene. Someone taps, note that i said "TAPS"the main actor with a hammer, and he lands in a hospital.

Next thing he's chilling on the hospital bed and his sister(or relation i assume) come weeping in that their MOTHER is dead.

In subsequent scenes people are "greeting" no sorry sympathising with him on the death of his FATHER....

so i think did he lose his mother or father???????????? because i clearly heard the girl say MAMA IS DEAD and i shake my head in agony at Nollywood and wonder why they can't just be a bit more thorough with productions....

The subtitles on most films are pathetic- typos everywhere and the expressions are just terrible.I mean what the freak!!!!

Ok now enough of the ranting, lemme go and watch the next movie on my line up ;)


Afrobabe said...

make sure u dont include any of those in the ones you are sending me..

acainto said...

LOL! Can't get enough of nollywood myself. However cheap, cheesy or hilarious they may end up being, there's something about home stuff that grabs you. Watch on!

fantasy queen said...

nollywood?...i always seem to know where the whole story's headed when i bother myself with em', although i think the yoruba movies r more interesting and dramatic among the whole nollywood bunch.

BiMbyLaDs** said...

lolllllllllllllllllllllllll.. i laughed at this post.. i feel u!

Anonymous said...

ah omo i dont like this post oh... the reason being that me overwhelmed i plan to star in some naija movies very soon.. and me i dont plan to do anything differntly oh.. the same overacting as everybody else.. the endless car driving... the 'britico' accents... omo... you will soon see my name in lights... haha... how you doing my angel?

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